Rememberries

Yes,

I am stupidly planning to do it again. A book of essays like I did before, but now with fewer of my best essays to choose from. So, essays with fewer calories, but also less nutrition. Laughing Blue was a success from the point of view of what I wrote it for. I know people generally don’t read essays for fun.

But I write them for fun. And for better health. Healthy thinking is as necessary as a proper diet.

You see, I am definitely not in good health. I retired from my job as a school teacher six years ago because of poor health. It was a job I truly loved and defined me as a human bean (by which I mean a human being, but with a careful balance of protein and carbohydrates.) Being retired is more restful. But you reach a point where doing nothing leads to sitting and rotting. I find I need the extra vitamin C you get from cooking essays with a lot of berries in them. Specifically rememberries.

Okay, I know that is a rather dumb food pun. But the vitamin C is still there to boost my immune system and make me feel better. Vitamin C for Comedy… Clarity… Creativity… and Cartoons.

So, let’s start with a berry from the 1960s. Let’s start with Moonberries.

I was twelve years old when the Apollo Program landed Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, and the LEM Eagle on the Moon at Tranquility Base. I was very much a child of the Space Age. I had a model kit of the Apollo 11 from Revell, all the pieces in white plastic. The tiny struts on the Lunar Expeditionary Module were maddeningly breakable, and even would warp under the dissolving power of Testor’s airplane glue. I spent hours with sticky fingers putting that together in December of 1968 and January of 1969. I was twelve, in the middle of my wonder years, and totally obsessed with the flavor of the whole Moonberry experience.

For several years through Gemini and then Apollo we watched the story unfold on our old black-and-white Motorola television set. All of it narrated by Walter Cronkite and Wally Schirra. All of it… space walks, docking maneuvers, orbit reports, a special Christmas message from Apollo 8, splashdowns bringing home heroes like Jim Lovell, Frank Borman, and Bill Anders… the man who had spoken the words;

“For all the people on Earth, the crew of Apollo 8 has a message we would like to send you.”

“In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

“And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep.

“And the spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, ‘Let there be light’: and there was light.

“And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.”

And then that late, late night when we all stayed up on July 20, 1969… And we knew they could fail and never come home again… We learned that with Grissom, White, and Chaffee on Apollo 1… That horrible fire… The somber funeral parade on TV that called to mind JFK and what befell him after he started the dream…

But no, we heard those words, “The Eagle has landed.”

And then later, “One small step for man… One giant leap for mankind.”

And then I knew it. For me, real life had finally begun.

I promise, there are more rememberries to come, and some might even be nutritious.

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Published Again, for Better or Worse

I am tempting fate and trying to publish this, my personal nudist’s guide to repairing your soul through naked meditation and transcendental experiences. It is filled with lots of bad poetry, secrets that are actually quite painful for me to reveal, and almost all of the naked pictures that I have been drawing for years and was able to spruce up with an AI program.

Nudes like this one were created from photos where the model actually wore clothing, then I painted all over it with my electronic stylus on my touch-screen phone and then cleaned it all up with an AI photo editor. I gave credit to the AI, the digital art tools, and the masterpieces of art I imitated and learned from.

It still has to be approved by the small gods of Amazon KDP. It is possible it will get rejected and my Amazon account will be dropped. That would be catastrophic. For me, at any rate. But I have reviewed much worse on Amazon Kindle. And my novels have survived some severe complaints.

Time will tell. It will be available through a link on this blog if I get lucky.

Turns out it was already approved as I published this post. That’s the fastest I have ever had a book approved by Amazon.

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Pictures In My Head

I do draw some pictures from models, photos, or other illustrations… but fantastical things that you can’t find a model for are what occur most often in my stupid head.

I was back in a classroom yesterday as a sub. 6th graders. It did look an awful lot like this, but I was holding another teacher’s giant pencil.
This is the ski-jump on Valwood Parkway in Farmer’s Branch. I merely changed the railroad tracks into a stream.
I taught all three of these kids when they were thirteen, but one in ’81, one in ’92, and one in ’94. Oh, and not on Mars.
No models were used in this picture, though I did know several blue children.
Done without a model, unless you believe 3″ tall fairies are a real thing.
No werewolf girls posed topless for this picture.
This classroom photo was entirely in my stupid old head, not in a school gymnasium full of snow.
Even the mountains in the background were drawn directly from my mind’s eye.
A lot of what I draw is merely emotional flim-floogery and provides a look inside of me that makes a portrait of me drawn even more naked and vulnerable than if I drew myself nude.

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Strawberry Fields

This foolish essay about berries that mean love to me is only partly inspired by the Beatles song, “Strawberry Fields Forever.” That’s because, of course, their song was only about meditating. In the lyrics they take you to the “Strawberry Fields where nothing is real… but it’s nothing to get hung up about…” They are talking about a blissful place of no worries where we all need to go. And then staying there forever.

This, of course, I could never do. Worrying about the future is tattooed on my behavioral imperatives in the dark part of my stupid old brain. And while I often found that place of no worries, and lingered there for a bit, I found you could never really get anything done if you stayed in that state of strawberry fields forever.

But don’t get me wrong, strawberries are a critical part of every healthy mental diet.

You see, my meditations on strawberries when I was a child of eight, nine, and ten centered on the strawberry patch at Great Grandma Hinckley’s place.

She was, as I incorrectly recall, slightly older than Jesus when I was that age. By that I mean, though she seemed museum-quality ancient to me, I had derived wisdom about life, love, and laughter from her before Sunday School taught me any of those things said in Jesus’s words.

And I was given the task of mowing her lawn in the little plot of land surrounding her little, tiny house in the Northern part of Rowan where I also lived and grew and celebrated Christmas and Halloween and Easter and the 4th of July. And though I was doing it because she was so old, I never even once thought she was too old and frail to do it herself. Grandma Hinckley’s willpower was a force of nature that could even quell tornados… well, I thought so anyway when I was eight. And she gave me a dollar every time I did the lawnmowing.

But there were other things she wanted done, and other things she wanted to teach me. There was the garden out back with the strawberry patch next to it. She wanted me to help with keeping the weeds and the saw grass and the creeping Charlie from overrunning the strawberries and choking them to death. (Creeping Charlie wasn’t an evil neighbor, by the way. He was a little round-leafed weed that grew so profusely that it prevented other plants from getting any sunlight on their own leaves, causing a withering, yellowing death by sunlight deprivation. I took my trowel to them and treated them like murderers. I showed them no mercy.)

And Grandma always reminded me not to be selfish and eat the very berries I was tending in the garden. She taught me that eating green strawberries (which are actually more yellow than green, but you know what I mean) was bad because they could give you a belly ache, a fact that that I proved to myself more than once (because eight-year-olds are stupid and learn slowly.) She also taught me that it is better to wait until you have enough strawberries to make a pie, or better yet, strawberry shortcake with whipped cream. She taught me that delayed gratification was more rewarding in the long run than being greedy in the short run and spoiling everything for everybody.

She always gave me a few of the ripe strawberries every time I helped her with them, even if I had eaten a few in the garden without permission. Strawberries were the fruit of true love. I know this because it says so in the strawberry picture. Even though I probably never figured out what true love really means.

My Great Grandma Nellie Hinckley was the foundation stone that my mother’s side of the family was built on. She was the rock that held us steadily in place during the thunderstorms, and the matriarch of the entire clan of Hinckleys and Aldriches and Beyers and other cousins by the dozens and grandchildren and great grandchildren and even great great grandchildren. I painted the picture of her in 1980 when she passed away. I gave it to my Grandma Aldrich, her second-eldest daughter. It spent three decades in Grandma’s upstairs closet because looking at it made Grandma too sad to be so long without her. The great grandchild in the picture with her is now a grandmother herself (though no one who has seen this picture knows who it is supposed to be because I painted her solely from memory and got it all wrong.) But Grandma Hinckley taught me what true love means. And true love has everything to do with how you go about taking care of the strawberry patch.

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What’s the Real Reason?

What’s the real reason behind the choices I make as an artist? For instance, why didn’t I do this photo of the artwork over again when the wind warped the bottom left corner. That answer is simple. I was taking this picture with natural sunlight. And once the wind started messing up my pictures, it only got worse. This was the first and best of five attempts. And, while it doesn’t show up here, I did several photo-shop manipulations of this picture, including shrinking the girl’s head. The original was done from a couple of models I got consent from when I worked at a daycare center in Iowa City where I went to college. The boy was eight years old in the summer of 1980. The girl was six, but I used a photo of a girl I went to second grade with, so the head was also eight. They represent David Copperfield and Emily, Pegotty’s niece from the Dickens novel. I had to read the book for my Master’s Exam which I took instead of writing a thesis. The picture is about how I saw myself and my world in that timeless novel.

This picture won a blue ribbon in the art competition at the Wright County Fair in 1979. It is a colored-pencil cartoon situation right out of a Jay Ward, Dudley Do-Right cartoon. I used a picture from a Canadian travel ad for the Mountie. The Indian sidekick is a modified version of Little Beaver, Red Ryder’s sidekick. The villain and the girl were basically Snidely Whiplash and Nell from the Dudley Do-Right cartoons, but made to look slightly more realistic… but only very slightly.

Actually, I lied a bit about the blue ribbon. I got the purple Grand Champion ribbon for this picture. I had entered it solely because two years before I saw how easy it would be to win a purple ribbon looking at the pictures that won it, and I wanted to win the purple ribbon. Sorry I lied, but the real reason for this picture is that I wanted to win that ribbon.

This painting, from the 1990s, was an attempt to make sofa art to sell in my sister-in-law’s home décor store. So, the real reason for this painting’s existence is greed. But since I ended up putting so many hours into it that I couldn’t justify selling it for twenty dollars in a store that went out of business because nobody ever shopped there, I got far more value out of it by keeping it and enjoying it myself. It was inspired by numerous paintings of Native Americans done by white people on display in Love’s Travel Stops across Texas in the 1990s.

This picture, “That Night in Saqqara,” is about youth versus age, thinking about death, immortality, and being afraid of any or all of it. The model for the Mummy is Boris Karloff who was so nice to pose for a production still from his movie that I could draw him long after he was actually dead. The boy was a seventh-grader in 1983 who did not actually pose for this without a shirt on or with an actual Ankh life-symbol around his neck. The Pharaoh in the tomb-mural in the background was from National Geographic Magazine, and I think was supposed to be Tutankhamun, but I could be wrong. I am old and I mix up lots of things I once clearly knew. That’s what mummified brains have to be like, apparently.

The reason I had to create this artwork was because I was increasingly falling victim to illness, especially arthritis, and I was constantly thinking about what it would be like to die alone, entombed in a two-bedroom apartment on North Stewart Street in Cotulla, Texas. This was well before I met and married my wife, who is now my wife of 25 years.

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Polly-Ticks! Ick!

I had to illustrate this post with pictures of a pretty brown-eyed girl to take your mind off the fact that this is a complainer post. Yes, the Republican Party has ticked me off. In other words, they have become a huge blood-sucking tick that I need to get off my chest and away from my heart.

Complaint number one; Those monkey-flingers have probably killed us. Climate change is slated to kill all life on Earth in fifty years. And they are busy protecting their profit-making by polluting more than ever while they still have fossil fuels to make money with. And they are going to shut the government down if huge cuts aren’t made to programs that help people like me, my family, all the people in my neighborhood, and all the people in the middle class and below while protecting the trillions of dollars in tax cuts that have a majority of all wealth flowing into the bottomless pockets of the ultra-greedy one-percenters.

We really only have until 2032 to solve the climate crisis. And the stupid MAGA minions refuse to believe in the fact of human-created climate change as reported, checked, updated, and verified by the international scientific community nearly every year since the 1970s. NASA, British and French climate studies, the US military resources, and independent scientific studies and data collectors throughout the globe, though peer-reviewed constantly, are all not believable because somebody on Fox News or Mark Levin or Tucker Carlson says all their studies and charts and tables and books are all lies. They have obviously done their own research by accepting fish food from the usual fishermen. Never mind the fatal fishhooks.

And if we are going to survive the climate crisis, we need to build hurricane-proof domed cities, de-acidify the oceans of the world, and relocate people forced out of the tropical climates that have become too hot for trees, animals, and people to stay alive. We not only have to stop putting more carbon dioxide and methane gas into the atmosphere, but we also have to take much of what’s up there in the air out again, sequestering carbon in forests, jungles, and back underground. And we have the technology to do all of these things, but we do not have time to squander.

And the Republicans will kill all of us by continuing to waste government time with impeachments of Biden that have no evidence of anything improper or illegal, and spending cuts that will derail the climate mitigation strategies I pointed out we are already behind on building. They have fired their Speaker of the House, dissolved into arguing groups of monkey-flingers, refused to fund the government which will lead to a shutdown, and they are still determined to foist the spoiled-mango ex-president criminal with the corn-tassel wig back into the White House. We are all going to die.

Complaint number two; Those mangy firetruckers without the “iretr” are also doing the one thing that most alienates me in all the world. They are banning books.

The thing is, those MAGA-minded Republicans, the low-information ones especially, are thoroughly convinced that they are better than the people they hate. And they think they have the right to tell others what rules they must obey and thoughts they must think even those imperial edicts don’t apply to them… because they don’t know what “edict” means.

What they do know the meaning of are the words “black,” “Jew,” and “gay,” and they associate all those words with a special fear and hatred. They also DON’T know the meanings of “woke,” “cultural elite,” and “gender.” Loud and sometimes violent parent groups go to special school board protest meetings to get books banned from the school libraries like the works of James Baldwin, Maya Angelou, and Walter Dean Myers because they are black, Biographies of Roberto Clemente and Rosa Parks for the same reason, books about the Holocaust and the origins of Hollywood because they tell the truth about Jews in America and the wider world, and true stories about gay penguin pairs raising a chick or young boys who like to wear skirts. The loud and sometimes violent parents who want to shield their children from any such scary truths are also depriving children of access to books like that even if I like them and, as a teacher, think those books are good for kids. To Kill a Mockingbird, The Roberto Clemente Story, Beloved by Toni Morrison, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou, and the Biography of Harvey Milk have all been banned in Florida and Texas.

What right do people who most likely don’t even read books have to tell anyone else or anyone else’s children what they can and can’t read? Ron DeSantis, Greg Abbott, Ben Shapiro, Dennis Praeger, and Jordan Petersen certainly shouldn’t have any say in the matter. The Nazis in Germany burned books in the city squares of most German cities as Adolf Hitler came to power. Are we on the verge of burning books and red States and welcoming the new Fuhrer Donald Adolf Trumpkin Twitler back to the greatest seat of power on this planet again?

I apologize for ranting. But I am old enough now that my old and angry coot-brain comes to a boil easily and MAGA incompetence, corruption, and evil have raised the heat level of the entire world.

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More Illustrating AeroQuest

I am nearing the completion of the rewrite of part two of AeroQuest. Part of that is getting all the illustrations I want to include done. So, here are a few more that I have been working on.

For those who might be wondering, AeroQuest 1 and AeroQuest 2 are comic science fiction, and I have chosen to rewrite them with lots of illustrations since it is a work of fiction that I might’ve done as a graphic novel if only I didn’t have arthritis in my hands.

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Illustrating AeroQuest

As I am editing and rewriting my first published novel to turn it into a novel series of at least four books, I have been enjoying rounding up and editing old artwork to illustrate it. I have been taking advantage of the fact that you can, after a fashion, plug illustrations into the manuscript and have it come through as acceptably good in the final Amazon publication.

The story comes from adventure logs of a space-fantasy role-playing game called Traveller. I played the game with small handfuls of high school kids whose player characters are now the main characters of the story (after modifications and considerable censorship.

The illustrations, a lot of them, are drawings of the characters that I did in pen and ink back in the 1980’s.

We went through multiple generations of player characters, some of whom were practically immortal, and others that died horrible deaths after a few episodes.

Most of the acting in the RPG was done for humor’s sake, and so my Sci-Fi tale turns out to be more of comedy than anything else.

Amanda is Ged’s daughter, though the player was not related to Ged’s player.

Rescuing the novel from the sorry state it was in from being an awkward first attempt at publishing done with a publisher that later had to be sued and put on trial for fraud has been an interesting and rewarding experience. These stories will never be among my best works, but they were definitely a learning experience. And rewriting them is a learning experience itself, living the story all over again with significant changes.

The places are the same, but as a satire, they had to be re-named in many instances as the planet’s names and their make-up were copied from other books and movies. But they were rewritten by the players themselves as everything was turned into comedy and farce. Hence, the planet Mongo ruled by Emperor Ming, became the planet Mingo ruled by Emperor Mong. These are obvious references that are re-named in ways that give us a laugh or a wince.

..

I doubt it is obvious by just looking at these drawings, but by reducing their size, the line drawings are improved to a high degree.

Illustrating AeroQuest has been fun. Maybe, at some point, it will even prove profitable. But ultimately, it is definitely a thing worth doing.

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Two More Portraits

Ariel’s arresting blue eyes.

Little Babe;s Bikini

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Ta-Da-Ra!

On the mantel

Of our home hearth

Sit the objects

That give life worth

A candle lighting

The dark of earth

A cup once painted

With paint and mirth

A Snoopy plaque

Announcing birth

And ceramic doll

Smiling o’er the hearth.

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