
I get a Facebook communication from Number One Son, and he tells me that he climbed Mt. Fuji. And he proved it with pictures and poetic expressions.


“A lonely isle on a sea of clouds, In a land which soothed my troubled soul. A year spent on drunken sin, Taught me the weight I carry with me is home. Men fight so desperately to find meaning in this life And yet, for all their efforts, few truly find it. Angels, demons, men and monsters, the Dragon, All are trumped by the will of existence. A year spent amongst comrades and nature, Has taught me God has little to do with spirituality. Find for yourself some measure of peace, And fight for dear life to defend it.”
-Allen Beyer

Me; Poetic.
4:49am
Number One Son;
Yeah, so is the top of Mt Fuji.
4:52am
Me;
I’ve never been there, but I feel it in your words.
4:58am
Number One Son;
Yeah, so am I going to get featured on your blog?
4:59am
Me;
I’m no longer forbidden to blog about you?
4:59am
Number One Son;
Just not marine corps related stuff…
That’s what I told you in the beginning.
5:00am
Me;
Okay, I can do that. It sounds like a real adventure.
Number One Son;
Yeah it was quite the experience.
Guess you can say I’m well cultured.
5:23am
Me;
Yes, it was a bucket-list item to be envied.
5:24am
Number One Son;
Yeah, planning to go see whale sharks next.
Me;
Another bucket-list item?
Number One Son;
Yeah, but not nearly as much effort for that one.
Fairly certain, though, we weren’t supposed to climb that mountain in one day.
5:33am
Me;
Not supposed to be that easy? Or you just didn’t have permission?
5:34am
Number One Son;
No, we were supposed to stop to adjust to the lack of oxygen.
Those pictures don’t do the summit justice, and I’m fairly certain that’s because we were all suffering from hypoxia.
5:35am
Me;
They are beautiful never the less.
5:35am
Number One Son;
True.
There was one point coming down though that was absolutely terrifying.
5:37am
Me;
What happened?
5:39am
Number One Son;
Descending through the ashes alone on Mt Hanoei the clouds rolled in and obstructed my view to no more than 20 feet in any direction.
5:40am
Me;
How did you get out of it? Ashes? Volcano?
5:40am
Number One Son;
The ashes absorbed sound so all I could hear was my own blood pumping through my veins.
There was a path.
And I just felt absolutely anxious there. I come to find out later that I’m actually not very far from the infamous suicide forest.
5:41am
Me;
Whoa!
5:42am
Number One Son;
Yeah.
It was intense.
Also, bathhouses are quite the experience.
5:43am
Me;
How many others were with you?
There are bathhouses on Mt. Fuji?
5:44am
Number One Son;
There were 11 and no, not unless you count the ones on the slight incline leading to the mountain.
5:46am
Me;
So, what made the bathhouses memorable?
5:46am
Number One Son;
Just the nature of it.
It was weird going there with a bunch of naked men.
5:47am
Me;
Yep, I get that.
Seen 5:47am
So, I got to share in a once-in-a-lifetime adventure, early in the morning, on Facebook messaging. Could’ve done without the bathhouse thing, though.
Teacup Pigs
As an artist I have definitely become aware that popular art comes in popular waves. What do I mean by that? Well, think about superhero movies. Since the Iron Man movie came out, the superhero movies have come in tidal waves. I discovered another tidal wave of teacup pigs. To be fair, it was actually John Oliver who put me onto teacup pigs with a throwaway running joke on his show Last Week Tonight .
John Oliver, the only picture in this post who is not a teacup pig.
He introduced me to the horrifying wave of cuteness with a couple of pictures which he apparently pulled from Pinterest.
But I have to warn you, the tidal wave of sickeningly cute pig pictures headed your way is tsunami levels of big. They are going to inundate your life to a degree rivaling pictures of Minions, Grumpy Cat, and Disney Princesses. It is already swelling phenomenally on Pinterest, and it will soon take over Facebook and Instagram like a zombie apocalypse of cute little porkers in people disguises. And like zombies, they are fairly easy to tell apart from regular people, and, in a way, they will eat up your brains as you post porkalicious pictures of pixie pigs on Pinterest instead of paying attention to important things like how thoughtlessly racist and narcissistic the last thing Donald Trump tweeted was.
So, this is fair warning. The teacup pig-apocalypse is on its way. It soon will be taking the place of internet cat videos as a thing inexplicably and inescapably on your mind.
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