
I am unhappy about an election for Governor of Virginia held last night. Why does an election so far away from Texas matter to me? I couldn’t vote in it. I couldn’t benefit from it in any way, no matter how Snidely-Whiplash evil the winner may be or how right his Dudley-Do-Right opponent is in his arguments about Virginia education. It only matters symbolically, as it shows who continues to win the gunfight over survival of the human species and life on planet Earth.
You see, the Skywalker Jedi Alliance just threw the evil Emperor down the power shaft of the doomed Second Death Star. We did so in an election that involved more votes cast than in any American election in history. But the evil Emperor didn’t die down that shaft. He claimed the election was fraudulent and tried to take the victory away by committing election fraud.
In times of swords and kings the would-be usurper, having failed, would’ve been beheaded so that he would bother the kingdom no more. But not in our time. The deposed Emperor can continue his rule in Mar-a-lago over all his crazed subjects who will give their allegiance only to him.
It’s funny how that works. They are excessively hostile. They insist their constitutional right to own guns trumps our right to expect our children to come home from school alive. They insist every fetus, once conceived, has a right to be born, but once they are born, they have no inherent rights to have parents, or medical care, or a full and equal education, or love, or food to eat, or a home to live in, or a right to stay out of prison… unless, of course, they are lucky enough to have white-skinned parents with enough money to afford those things. No money. No more rights. Only money makes you worthy.
There are two sides politically in today’s struggle. The Republicans are transparently the party of rich white guys. They favor authoritarian rule, possibly fascism. They favor minority rule in which they only authorize the spending of tax dollars on making rich men and corporations richer. Never on the public good that might benefit… ugh, poor people and minorities. They will use violence to maintain power. They will steal Supreme Court appointments. They will filibuster anything they don’t like and the things they like can be counted on one finger… the finger that points at themselves.
The other party, the Democrats, are the party of everybody else. Particularly the everybody else who have little or no individual power. 0h, there are a few conservative white guys mixed in. Those are mostly there to vote against the interests of the rest of the Democrats. Thank you, Joe Manchin. We are the party that meets the gun-toting opposition with roses to place in the barrels of guns. And we try to win the battle simply by being on the sensible, more generous side.
The new governor of Virginia won his seat of power by making an issue of whether or not parents can go into school libraries and school curriculums to ban books and ideas. He took the side of those who want to ban a terrible book. The book is Beloved, by Nobel Laureate Author Toni Morrison. What makes this book bannable when a book like Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged is not?
It appears to be the fact that the best-selling author is a black woman.
I fear we are ultimately going to lose the battle. I am on the side of those who bring roses to the gunfight. But if we don’t win the fight, because people are deep-down good at heart, then no one wins. The side with the guns won’t believe that people can go extinct like the Dodo bird./ But the Dodo birds are all dead. Are the Dodo men any smarter?











































Mr. Grumpy Holds Forth
(This is an idea that comes from Bruce the Bottle Imp, so, don’t blame me if this humor blog-post isn’t really very funny.)
The thing I am grumpy about today, besides the dog chewing up last night’s pizza box and spreading the shreds all over the kitchen before I had a chance to take it to the trash barrel, is the fact that it seems like the world is ending.
I know, the “How can you say that?” crowd are going to argue with me if I say it’s because we let Adam Sandler get away with making too damn many movies. But in spite of the existence of Jack and Jill, I actually kinda like the cartoons where he plays Dracula and Selena Gomez plays his daughter. So, Sandler doesn’t give me the feelings of existential dread his movies used to provide.
No, I think the reason is because when I went out to walk the dog this morning on a sunshiny and blue-skyed dawn, and took a deep breath of fresh air, I nearly coughed up a lung thanks to that yellow-gray patina delicately painting the horizon.
We are running out of time.
President Grandpa Joe, the mildly confused one, is proposing a huge infrastructure bill that is even larger than the one he rammed through congress without a single Republican vote in order to keep the poor and the middle class from starving and becoming homeless… and potential fuel for the zombie apocalypse. The infrastructure bill will provide a starting point for building green-energy projects, providing thousands of green-energy jobs to an ailing economy, bullet trains and healthcare improvements, and life-changing transformations to rival FDR’s New Deal, which Republicans will also vote against. And he might actually do it if Senator Turtle McConnell doesn’t convince Senator Grumbly-Grampa Joe Manchin to vote against his own party in dismantling the foofy filibuster and then voting down the infrastructure bill both to fully insure the extinction of the human race.
For some reason, probably involving dark money, Republicans want so badly to see all middle class and poor people die a horrible death that they are willing to sacrifice the lives of their own grandchildren and great grandchildren. After all, they will mostly all be undead and undying critters by that time, and they won’t want pesky younger generations to support using money from their treasure hordes that they are planning to swim in like Scrooge McDuck for eternity.
I am also deeply grumpified by the whole Congressman Eddy Munster… er, I mean… Matt Gaetz thing (seen pictured in the Vampyr Paffooney above.) That happy-go-lucky blood-sucker is facing child sex-trafficking charges involving a 17-year-old girl, and the investigation was started under Attorney General Bill Barr, Trump’s Fred-Flintstone-impersonating, Yabba-dabba-doo collusion-denier. Senator Al Franken(berry) of Minnesota, a leading Democrat, had to resign from the Senate over a picture where he wasn’t actually touching the sleeping Republican-lady’s boobs, just making a crude joke-photo the way former Saturday Night Live comedians will often do… er, well… doo doo. But
EddyMatt Gaetz doesn’t have to resign, or even give up his assignment to the Judiciary Committee. And that’s because we’re okay with unindicted criminals running our country, just not Democrats.I hate to say it, but, now that we have gotten rid of the Orange Prexydent at long last, if we still can’t prevent human extinction, we deserve what’s coming to us. We have work to do…. and things to grumble about… and Republicans have acts of vampire-evil to commit.
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Filed under angry rant, commentary, feeling sorry for myself, humor, Paffooney, politics, satire