He won by hanging nicknames like millstones around the necks of his opponents.
He called this fellow “Lyin’ Ted”.
And he berated her as “Crooked Hillary”
Insults, nicknames, and politics seem to work better together than anything else when you are trying to win over the fat, lazy white folks with too much money who gather at the Cracker Barrel in Lewisville, Texas to decide who will be President of the U. S. After all, they are the only ones whose voice still counts in politics. Voter I.D. laws, gerrymandering of voting districts, and vilification of Muslims has pretty much seen to that.
But I have always felt that insulting your opponent in a debate was not only uncivil, but actually cheating. I would much prefer to see ideas and policies and political positions be ridiculed. Still, that is not the way the world works now that the semi-stupid people have taken control. Vicious and personal is the preferred way of the modern day.
It was certainly awkward, stupid, and bad the way a certain Texas Grandpa Munster look-alike exploited his own children during his GOP nomination campaign. But that paled in comparison with how the Great Orange Face accused his father of killing J.F.K. and called his wife ugly in comparison to the plastic Barbie doll that Pumpkinhead currently keeps on leash number three for himself. Grampy Munster was right, when he said family should be off limits.
If you must vilify the un-TrusTED One, and we certainly must, it should be for the selfish, stupid policies and agendas that he would enact if he wins the golden ticket.
And how do we know what he would do if the “Ultimate Power of Castle Grayskull” actually became his? Well, he did spend a lot of time telling us what he would do. His message was not all Green Eggs and Ham. Though there was a lot of leftover ham even after the Dr. Seuss Filibuster.
So what is the proper way to talk about the Orangutan King we made the mistake of electing?
He has gone to considerable effort to place doubt in everyone’s mind about the truth in every reported story from the media.
Although, he seems to really like Fox News.
He has hammered it into the brains of his true believers that anything CNN says about the Russian hacking scandal is absolutely “WRONG!” Though I am inclined to believe that everything that comes out of his mouth truly means that the opposite of what he says is true.
And I think we all have to work a little harder to deny him control over what is defined as “True” and what he can be allowed to call “Fake.”
So, even though I realize I have a certain talent for insulting others myself, and have used it generously here, I do not think insults are the right way to go. You should talk about the ideas and the prejudices, and how those things lead to evil befalling us. Insults are a waste of time. But did you notice? While composing this piece, the cartoonists whose work I am sharing with you may have labeled them with names, I never once in my own writing named any of the ones I was insulting by name.
And I’ll bet you knew who I meant anyway.
If you are going to entertain a completely absurd notion like, “Shakespeare wasn’t really written by Shakespeare”, then you have to have some knowledge of the times and the context within which such a profoundly counter-intuitive thing could possibly be true. And it also helps to understand more precisely what the “writing of Shakespeare” actually means. Now, I know it is not particularly fair to confuse you, dear reader, right before I try to dazzle you with my complicated and over-thunk lackwit conspiracy theory, but that is, after all, what obfuscation actually means.
Catch a Falling Star 
Truly Terrible Trump Tricks
Yep, I have tried thinking about the many uses for barbed wire and dead cats rather than have to think about what Trump has been doing, and it just isn’t working. After looking up the tensile strength of various common barbed wires from different barbed wire companies, I could not find one appropriate for a cat-a-pult, and it turned out that the whole idea was a joke anyway. But he just keeps getting worse.
Here is John Green, an author I love and listen to, explaining the Immigration Boobilly Boo-Boo;
The Trumpinator has gotten the idea that he can hammer the world into a shape he likes using mallet-like executive orders. But no amount of hammering is going to turn the globe into a giant banana. His executive orders are not put through a review process, and so, are often nonsensical, inappropriate, and even dangerous.
The fact that you had to take a moment to decide if you needed to ask me if this photo was real or not tells you a lot about what you already know about Trump. He is petulant. He is childish. He throws tantrums at the drop of a hat, or the smirk of an underling, or the comments of a celebrity… I wonder if he throws tantrums about barbed wire and dead cats?
“Oh, no! Thinking about Trump made me accidentally strangle Mr. Tinkles.”
And even worse are some of the detestable deplorables that he has working for him. A man like Steve Bannon with his Breitbart background and his white supremacist crossword puzzles of racism, antisemitism, and nihilism would never have gotten power in the first place if it hadn’t been for Trump. And now he is at least the second most powerful man on Earth. Arguably, he’s the first, depending on how much his Wormtongue skills are affecting the baby mind of President Babyhands.
So, here is my pitiful attempt at mocking the evil Steve, Darklord Bannon;
I know, the angry eyebrows are simply not enough. Let me try again;
Okay, I know it’s not good enough. I promise you, if I can find a cartoon way to harpoon the great white whale, Moby Steve, I will, and then post it for all to see. I would like to be able to make a single cartoon so snarky that Bannon’s pet snake would drop over dead at the shockwaves from little old Republican ladies laughing at it and changing their opinion of Trump forever. Of course, I know, better cartoonists than I have tried and failed. That doesn’t mean it is not worth the effort.
You have probably discerned by now that I did not vote for Trump. And I have given him more than enough chance to prove what he will do for this country. I will never call him President using his proper name. He is not my president. And I do not want to live in Trump’s idea of America. This I will probably achieve sooner than expected because what he is doing to Obamacare will undoubtedly kill me.
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Filed under angry rant, commentary, grumpiness, humor, Liberal ideas, memes, politics
Tagged as Donald Trump, immigration, politics, Steve Bannon, the power of cartoons.