Category Archives: novel

April 17, 2020 · 6:31 pm

Writing Humor… and Other Oxymorons

Once again I am running a free book promotion. Fools and Their Toys is a comedy YA novel about an autistic man who learns to communicate only through a Zebra sock puppet that he uses in his ventriloquist’s act. But even though there are a lot of comedy moments about this fool, his favorite toy, and his child-friends, it is also a murder mystery as the Teddy Bear Killer continues to prey upon young boys. There are some extremely un-funny things in this tale, a story narrated by the zebra sock puppet through his unique point of view. There are numerous emotional responses I am trying to get beyond mere laughter. Sadness, grief, fear, horror, revulsion, doubt, and bewilderment are all supposed to be represented here. And this story does not unfold in sequential time order, Murray the ventriloquist’s mind does not work like that.

And that is what leads to today’s basic topic; What does it mean to claim you are a humor writer?

I have also just completed A Field Guide to Fauns. This is a novel about nudists, so there are a lot of naked people in it. The main character, who is the narrator, is a fifteen-year-old boy who is trying to recover from both a suicide attempt and the loss of the home he grew up in. He comes to live with his father and his stepmother, along with two twin stepsisters in their permanent home within the confines of a nudist park. It is a strange balance of humor, psychological horror, and melancholy.

So, I guess to understand the writing of humorous fiction the way I understand it, you have to accept the notion, “Humorous fiction is not always funny… at least, not on every single page.”

You can find precedent for that in the works of great humorist fiction writers. As funny, quirky, and essentially British as Charles Dickens is, you have to admit, there are pretty dark things happening in some of his greatest books. Oliver Twist has the childish adventures of the Artful Dodger side by side with the murderer Bill Sykes. David Copperfield contains the antics of Wilkins Micawber and the simple Mr. Dick contrasted to the evil of Murdstone, David’s stepfather, and the slimy machinations of Uriah Heep. Even his greatest masterpiece, A Tale of Two Cities, has its clowns like Jerry Cruncher, the grave robber, and Miss Pross. the governess/pugilist, and its villains like the Marquis de Evremondes, the heartless aristocrat, and Madame DeFarge, the even more heartless revolutionary.

The illustration above was the last bit of revision and editing added to A Field Guide to Fauns. It is now ready to be self-published. My writing time today, after posting this, will be devoted to publishing this book. So, soon you will be able to see what I mean about humor having its dark side.

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April 14, 2020 · 2:17 pm

AeroQuest 3… Canto 86

Canto 86 – Landing in the Sand (the Blue Thread)

The spaceship known as The Magic Carpet landed gracefully in the desert downport of the planet Djinnistan. But even as graceful as the landing was, clouds of sand were kicked up in all directions.

“That was a beautiful landing,” Arkin Cloudstalker said to the Black Fly. She smiled at him. She was a stunning beauty without the black mask on.

“Thank you, Captain. You see now why the argument about who flies this ship was pointless?”

“Oh, yes. In fact, when this is all over, I want to recruit you to fly with the Lady Knights.”

“Ah, you flatter me, Captain. I am apparently good enough to fly with a troop of space pirates and criminal rim-world scum.”

“You know what I mean,” he said with a laugh, rising from the copilot’s chair on the bridge.

“Captain?” Lazerstone entered the bridge. “We seem to be under siege by a hoard of children of your species.”

“Oh?” Arkin looked out the viewport and down at the monitors. Child-sized humanoids, both male and female, were everywhere. Some were placing weather-clamps on the landing gear. Others were polishing everything they could reach, and with a strange group of what appeared to be robotically animated ladders, there was no surface on the Magic Carpet they couldn’t reach, even if it meant hanging upside down. Some even seemed to be probing at electrical connections with unidentifiable tools.

“Those are Peris, one of the species of Freaks created and mass-produced on this planet.” Black Fly seemed unconcerned at what was happening to her ship.

“Do you think they might break something, or do damage?”

“No. Dr. Bludlust created them with brains more facile than any computer, and much more creative than any human being, even human beings on psychedelics.”

“They are scanning things,” said Lazerstone. “I hope you have no secrets to conceal.”

“Well, scanners don’t read minds. And the ship itself has no real secrets at this planet’s tech level anyway.”

“The point is, they must not scan me. And I can feel some very uncomfortable scanning frequencies already.”

“They can read your mind or something that way, my friend?” Arkin asked.

“No. But they could disrupt me and cause me to explode with the wrong frequency.”

“How big of an explosion?” asked Black Fly.

“Twenty thousand megatons of thermonuclear energy, depending on how many harmonic stones surround us for my death to activate.”

“That sounds like a potential problem,” Arkin said.

“I have the word of a time knight that such an event will not take place,” Black Fly calmly told them.

Three of the small Peri creatures entered the bridge at that moment. One was a boyish male, and two were childlike girls.

“Greetings, travelers. We welcome you to the enchanted planet of Djinnistan. How may we be of service to you?” said the red-haired girl Peri.

“Well, to be honest,” said the Black Fly, “We have come to liberate this planet so that it can join the New Star League.”

“Oh, that sounds very ambitious,” said the boy Peri. “You do realize that you will have to defeat the minions of Dr. Havir Bludlust, right?”

“Yes, and are you sure it is a good idea to tell these natives that we are invading?” Arkin asked Black Fly.

“Oh, of course. These are not so much natives as they are slaves. Many of them not happy with how they were created, exploited, and abused. We will be calling them our army soon enough.”

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April 7, 2020 · 4:09 pm

AeroQuest 3… Canto 85

Canto 85 – Digging In

Outpost was abuzz with activity. The airless world had only limited defense from attack. The primary protection had always been the secret of its location. As an airless world, the surface could easily be lasered or bombarded with no atmosphere to interfere with the destructive force. Tron had ordered the mirror fields raised, hoping that some laser fire could be reflected back into the surrounding darkness. He knew, however, that the only hope he had was in his fleet. If they could somehow destroy enough of Admiral Tang’s fleet to make him feel the losses were no longer worthwhile, then maybe the groundside installations could survive intact.

There were still very talented corsairs able to fly fighting ships. Elvis the Cruel and Apache Scout were both peerless star warriors. But Tron had to believe that Admiral Tang had a few potent killers left to his name too. There was every chance that the situation was hopeless and would end in massacre.

Still, there were a few unknowns on Tron Blastarr’s side. The crazy alien star ship known as the Megadeath was the most agile killing machine that Tron had ever seen. The goofball rock-and-roll crew that flew it for Trav Dalgoda was now very adept at handling the alien thing, and Tron had kept them to help in his mad last stand. They were not smart enough to be scared of the upcoming battle.

He was able to send his son onward to Ged Aero on the unknown planet Gaijin, where little Artran would be safe and well-cared-for long after Tron and Maggie’s bones littered the airless sands of Outpost. He had put Artran on the scout ship himself with the somewhat strange courier that had come with the ship from Don’t Go Here. This Bill the Postman really worried Tron. The man was not entirely right in the head somehow.

“Boss,” said Hassan the Elf, breaking Tron’s train of thought, “I have made something that I think might be of help.”

Tron looked at the child-like Peri and the invention he was now holding up. “A suit of armor?”

“Yes, boss. A special kind of suit of armor. It is made up of nanites.”

“What? Nanites?”

“Yes, microscopic robots that share a command pulse and can reform themselves into any sort of armor that might be needed.”

Tron looked quizzically at the bluish suit of nanite armor. “How do you make it work?”

“Well… for instance, if you want it to form an anti-grav pack on the back, you just say FLIGHT-PACK.” The suit rearranged itself at Hassan’s command, and an anti-gravity flight-pack instantly took shape on the back side of the armor’s breastplate.

“Does it have weapons?”

“FUSION-GUN!” said the elf with a grin. A man-portable fusion generator and its discharge-barrel formed on the pauldron.

“That’s really good, Elf. That will help. But one isn’t going to be enough to save us.”

“Oh, that’s the best part,” said the Peri. “Nanites can replicate themselves from raw metal ore. Since the planet is mostly metal and crystal, we can set them to making a million copies of themselves in an hour. You have to specify the number, though. We wouldn’t want the little buggers transforming the entire planet.”

“Amazing,” sighed Tron. “If only I had a million commandos to fill them with.”

At that moment Maggie came trotting up to him with a handheld communicator. “The call is for you,” she said, looking grim. “Arkin Cloudstalker has found some allies to help us fight. He says he will visit one more planet and then be on his way to this system. Admiral Tang is sure to follow.”

“Yes. Sure to follow,” said Tron automatically, still gazing at the grinning elf and his newest invention.

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April 5, 2020 · 7:21 pm

Critical Steps

Last night I reached the climax of the novel, A Field Guide to Fauns. I pulled the scene off in a way that made me cry and feel like a part of my soul had been pulled out through my nose. But a critical question remains to be answered. Does it matter to the reader as much as it does to me?

The climax occurs after a group of four characters participate in a Chicken Dance, and the critical conflict is resolved by talking about the past.

Devon Martinez as he appears in ***A Field Guide to Fauns.***

Probably not the most cinematic approach I could have used.

But this is not a cinematic story. It is introspective. It grapples with chronic child abuse and suicidal depression. It deals with recovery from a seriously traumatic event. And it is set in a nudist park featuring characters who are trying to rebuild families after divorce.

Can I leave it like it currently is? Knowing me, I probably will. It is an essential sort of story that I need to write because of who I am, who I was before, and where I am trying to be. I don’t write for anybody else but me. But I do hope others will read it. I will, in fact, continue to coerce family members and friends who are not sick of my story-telling (if such rare creatures still exist) to read it and make faces afterwards. And I firmly believe it is well-written, but it is a well-written, introspective and highly metaphorical novel. How many people do I know, after all, that read and enjoy Marcel Proust or William Faulkner or Saul Bellow? (I myself have only read multiple books from two of those three, and that because I can’t read French to get the book in its original language),

Starlord and Spiderman as they appear as blue elves in ***Onward***, the Pixar movie.

Last night I watched what I thought was a marvelous movie on Disney Plus. And the truth is, the gut-punching climax of that movie happens when the main character is reviewing his to-do list while sitting on a rock. So, it is not only me who sometimes soft-peddles the critical steps in a story plot.

In truth, then, the next critical step for me will be to finish the falling action of the novel, carefully re-read and edit the manuscript, and then publish it. The novel will be done soon.

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April 3, 2020 · 8:37 pm

Ramping It Up

Time is probably running out for me. I am too susceptible to this pandemic, and I am living in a Red State where they didn’t take social distancing seriously until Tuesday of this week.

But I have been living one day at a time for six years now. I have already lived longer and written more novels than I ever expected to since the beginning of my health crisis in the year 2000.

Still, I am now adding almost a thousand words a day to one novel or another. With A Field Guide to Fauns, I am currently on page 100 and at about 28,000 words of a planned 35,000. I reached crisis point one of three planned for the plot.

I have to admit that several surprises have added themselves to this story. When a novel comes to life like this one has, it often surprises you with directions you never expected it to take. Hence the family trip to Fiesta Texas and Mandy’s inexplicable love of Selena and dancing the Cumbia.

Just a reminder, if you haven’t been following my sporadic narration of the writing of this novel, the Field Guide is set primarily in a nudist park in Texas, and it is about a boy who is forced to become a nudist, and at the same time confronting the naked truth about himself. This novel will be done before the quarantine is over. Hopefully also before I get sick and die.

I will be ready to take up The Wizard in His Keep soon after it is done.

Plus, I have been working hard on the rewrite of AeroQuest 3 : Juggling Planets.

Juggling Planets now stands at about 20,000 words and 82 pages.

I will try to finish both that and AeroQuest 4 : The Amazing Aero Brothers before I breathe my last. (Though possibly not writing my last. Remember, I plan on getting a job as a ghost writer after I am dead.)

If I have time after all that, I have an idea ready to go for Kingdoms Under the Earth, my graphic novel, Hidden Kingdom, and a rewrite of my ghost story, Monstro.

I am doing my best to write as much as I can before the end.

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March 31, 2020 · 4:14 pm

AeroQuest 3… Canto 84

Canto 84 – The Lords of the Jungle (the Green Thread)

King Killer returned to consciousness in the midst of an elaborately built tree house. His right arm and shoulder were burning with excruciating pain. His vision was somewhat blurry, but he could make out two smiling faces looking at him, neither of which was familiar in any way. The boy was nearly nude, wearing only some kind of fur loin-cover that really wouldn’t have covered anything if he had had anything to cover. His red hair was wild and uncut, something like a lion’s mane with tangles. The woman was dressed in an expensive leather suit, the kind nobles often wore in order to tour the more dangerous parts of resort planets. She was a beauty with large red lips and liquid brown eyes. Her hair was well kept and perfectly arranged in this steamy jungle.

“Who… are you?” King finally spit out.

“I am the former movie star known as Wicked Wanda,” said the woman. “You may have seen me in the holo-epic All Spaceways Lead to Galtorr, or the romantic comedy The Corsair’s Wife.”

“Um, no.”

“That’s okay. I know my fame and talent haven’t reached all the way to the frontier, yet.”

King looked around. Hooey and Willie Culver were sitting a short distance away, talking to a man in a black robe with a hood over his head. He wanted to get up and go over there so he could kick Hooey in the head for doing this to him.

“What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I get up from here?”

“You have a terrible infection in the wound from the creature’s carnivorous mouth. I’m a pretty good medic as well as a holo-epic star, so I’ve been trying to treat it without antibiotics.”

King looked at the boy. “I guess I owe you my life,” he said soberly. “Thank you.”

“Me Randy,” said the Jungle Boy, pounding his chest with one fist.

“That’s all he can say,” said Wanda. “He was apparently the only one to survive from his crashed spaceship, and the monkey people of this planet raised him.”

“Monkey people?”

“The Lemurians. They live on several jungle planets, or the jungle parts of medium life-belt planets. They have a whole city here in the trees. They built this place. If Admiral Tang knew they were here and rescuing some of the people he maroons here, he’d probably throw a mechanoid fit.”

“Yes, I owe them too. I have to survive this place to get revenge on Tang.”

Wicked Wanda smiled a sinister smile. “Revenge is not a good enough motivation for most people, but I can tell it fits you perfectly.”

“Yeah, I’m a dangerous man.”

“Sure you are.”

“How smart are these Lemurians?”

“Oh, they are very clever. They can’t talk though, unless Oook means something in monkey-talk.”

“You can’t communicate with them?”

“Oh, we can. Slythinus over there can use some kind of telepathy on them.” She pointed at the man in the robe.

“Slythinus? As in Emperor Slythinus?”

“Yeah, that’s him. Mr. Golly Bigdeal is a prisoner here just like the rest of us.”

“How? I mean, he’s still the Emperor, isn’t he?”

“Not really any more…” Wanda looked at him sadly. “There was a coup by some guy called Prince Ali. Slythinus was left here to die while other people took over his empire. I understand the Imperium belongs mostly to Mechanoids and Galtorr-Human Fusions now. That’s how I got here, taking pity on a human leader that had fallen out of favor with his planet. You may have heard of him. You know, Duke Ferrari of the Coventry Sector?”

“I’ve heard the name. Don’t know much about the man, other than the fact that we freed him from a dungeon on the planet White Palm. I guess that’s how Tron’s Pinwheel Corsairs got our behinds handed to us in a basket, payment from the Imperium for freeing the Duke.”

“He’s free? Oh! I love you for that!” Wanda leaned in and planted a big, passionate kiss on King. He was instantly surprised and embarrassed.

“Well, well, well,” said Dr. Hooey. “I see you’ve met your future wife already.”

“I swear, Hooey, I will kill you one day.”

“Oh, no you won’t. I’ve read the proof in one of King Ryan Beowulf’s books about the future.”

“The future?” Wanda was puzzled.

“Oh, yes,” said King sarcastically. “Dr. Hooey here is a Time Knight, and destined to get us all off this planet.”

“Really?” said Wanda, obviously contemplating another thank-you kiss. King found that he hated that idea. “How will we get off?” she asked.

“There’s a certain device hidden in the ruins,” said Hooey.

“What ruins?” asked the robed man, walking up to King also. “I know of none.”

As Slythinus approached, King could see that his Galtorrian lizard eyes were gone. The former Emperor was now blind. “Your monkey friends know,” said Hooey. “Although, I have to wonder why they’ve kept the knowledge from you. It is the way they have gotten from planet to planet, you know.”

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March 24, 2020 · 3:17 pm

AeroQuest 3… Canto 83

Canto 83 – Star Nomads Revealed (The Silver Thread)

Artran Blastarr, the eight-year-old son of space pirates, and Tiki Astro, the robot-boy, stood holding hands on the docking bay floor next to the somewhat unreliable yet amazingly effective Bill the Postman (Scarpigo Snarcs in his current secret identity).

From the portal opposite, on the far side of the docking bay, three gigantic humanoid figures dressed in metallic armor of some kind emerged.

“Who… who are those?” gasped Artran.

“Those are Star Nomads. If I don’t miss my best guess, it is the Black Knight, the Dark Traveler, and the Magnificent Wanderer,” said Bill.

They slowly approached, each a massive figure in armor that completely covered their entire bodies, completely obscuring even their faces, no matter what race or configuration they actually represented. The Black Knight was all in gleaming black armor with a razor-edged hook for a crest on his faceless helmet. The Dark Traveler was all decked out in metallic green armor. And the Magnificent Wanderer, as Bill pointed out, was armored entirely in gleaming silver.

Drawing close enough to speak, the Magnificent Wanderer’s voice boomed out like a thunderclap on a rainy planet. “So, you have brought us the chosen one, Scarpigo Snarcs.”

“Yes, oh Magnificent One. But please refrain from using my real name in front of those who might not be stupid enough to misremember it.”

“I will never fully understand why demi-humans like this one insist on their comic prevarications the way this one does,” said the Dark Traveler.

“Indeed,” said the Wanderer. The Black Knight remained silent.

“Who is this chosen one?” asked Tiki Astro meekly.

“The human child born on the planet known as Outpost.” The Traveler nodded at Artran.

“Me?” squeaked Artran.

“Of course, you,” said the Wanderer. “We need an authentic discoverer of worlds for our purpose.”

“…And you know the boy thinks that’s the silliest thing he ever heard,” said Bill.

“Of course, he does. We pulled him out of the time stream well before he was ready to set foot on his first planet. Who better to use for the purpose, than the one fated to it?”

“Yes, you are right,” admitted Bill quickly. “You are always right.” Bill rolled his eyes when the Wanderer’s featureless face was turned away.

“So, Tiki and I are supposed to be here? This wasn’t just an accident?”

“The robotic child-construct is fated to be elsewhere. You alone are the chosen one, Artran Blastarr.” The Wanderer pointed his armored finger at Artran’s breastbone.

“No! I won’t go anywhere without my friend Tiki!” Artran began to leak emotion-induced wetness from his childish eyes. Of course, the Star Nomads would never give in to any such emotional nonsense.

“The Metaloid boy belongs to the White Spider,” said the Black Knight in what can only be described as a dark black voice. “He must be there when the critical time comes. The universe decrees it.”

“You can count on me,” said Bill, not actually adding, “because I must be some sort of human abacus.”

“You are not actually human,” said the Wanderer, apparently answering Scarpigo’s thoughts.

“What if I don’t agree to go to this White Spider?” asked Tiki.

“Then we invoke protocol alpha in your programming,” said the Wanderer.

“Oh. Sorry, Artran. I have to be going. It’s a robot thing.”

By this time Artran was beside himself with misery. “Bye, Tiki. I love you.”

The real boy and the robot boy briefly hugged before Bill (Scarpigo) the Postman led Tiki Astro back to the X-boat.

Artran looked up at the Wanderer with tear-filled eyes.

“So, are you gonna eat me now?” he said in a fully resigned voice.

“We no longer consume food of any sort. We will now take you to civilized planets that you will learn about and then give to the newly-formed alliance that is to become the New Star League.”

“Oh. Okay.”

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March 17, 2020 · 3:33 pm

AeroQuest 3… Adagio 14

Adagio 14 – The Battle of Farwind (the Blood-red Thread)

It was amazing to me how few casualties actually occurred in the capture of a planet like Farwind by a handful of commandos led by a traitor. The Battle of Farwind cost the Imperial Defense Force one traitorous commando commander, six unwilling Imperial loyalists, and fifty-two insanely-programmed Mechanoids. Our side lost no one at all. Ninety-two percent of the Imperial forces on the planet switched sides, preferring the command of the charismatic and humble Duke Han Ferrari to the iron-fisted rule of the maniacal Mechanoid Admiral Brona Tang.

Duke Ferrari quickly established a temporarily-appointed government of both like-minded intellectuals and professionals, and highly intelligent and motivated members of the political opposition. Massive elections were planned and were quickly carried out, but Ferrari rode a wave of popular acclaim into office where they would’ve made him Emperor if he chose, just as George Washington of Earth and Toakenn Ailiannaim of Samothrace had done before him. He took the office of Farwind Executive Prime, and made the popular alien entertainer William Bugbright his Executive Second. Bugbright was not a human-born entertainer of aliens, mind you, but a Kritiian, an insectoid alien, that had the head of a giant praying mantis, four chitinous arms, and could play two ukuleles at once while singing popular human songs in a particularly humorous off-key voice. It is little wonder he was the most popular living entertainer on holographic videos since the Galtorrians first discovered I Love Lucy reruns being broadcast on old-time television signals from the nearby planet Earth. Galtorrians, and even Galtorrian-human fusions, as you probably already know, love the comedy stylings of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz more than anything else ever used for entertainment on a thousand worlds. Incidentally, did you know that the first Galtorrians to land on Earth were surprised to learn that everything on the planet was not colored only in black and white and shades of gray? They knew about movies and television on their own, but they never actually discovered black and white. Choosing an entertainer as Executive Second was probably the canniest move that Duke Ferrari made in selecting his new rebel government. The Galtorrians and the Galtorrian-Human fusions were all enthralled and easily swayed by entertainers, especially those who could handle humor well. Teachers would never have conquered the Galtorrian Imperium if it hadn’t been for that one factor, humor, and the power of those who are funny.

So, you can see, the conquest of the planet Farwind was easily one of the most confoundingly absurd and easy conquests in recorded history. It was more amazing than Cortez conquering the Aztec civilization because Cortez lost men and had no visible sense of humor in any form that I can see, and I have been there via time machine, though only to watch from the bushes.

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March 10, 2020 · 1:55 pm

AeroQuest 3… Canto 82

Canto 82 – Siege of the Seadome (the Blood-red Thread)

Ham Aero was chafing in the wrist cuffs. He’d been stripped of his yellow and blue combat armor, as had Ferrari and myself. We all lay on the hard metal floor of the seadome brig. Ham was working at the cuffs, seemingly knowing how to break free in a Houdini-esque fashion. He twisted them back and forth, rolling his knuckles over in a very interesting fashion. I have never seen such a form of double-jointedness before.

“I am supposed to execute all three of you,” the black-suited commander was saying. “I know I am supposed to, but I can’t see killing someone like you, Duke Ferrari.”

“Why don’t you let me go, then, soldier?” said Duke Ferrari in his oiliest political voice. He almost seemed sympathetic to our captor and potential executioner.

“Admiral Tang has personally ordered your immediate execution. What will I do?”

At that moment, the Commander of the commando team we came with came in with two armed guards. He still wore his armor and seemed remarkably fit compared to the wear and tear that showed on the rest of us.

“Why haven’t you killed them yet?” he asked of the Black Commander.

“I had to confirm that the orders were not a mistake,” said Blackie.

“Nonsense. You know what the Admiral wants. Just do it!”

“I called Planet Mingo Command to confirm the order before I do it. I don’t want to kill the former ruler who did the most to help my people in his lifetime.” The Black Commander took off his helmet to reveal a snake-eyed Human-Galtorrian face. He was of the fusion race that dominated the Imperium.

“What happened to your loyalty?” Duke Ferrari asked the yellow and blue Commander. “I thought you were on our side?”

“I am. I don’t want his people to claim that you made a mess of things with your little rebellion. The people idolize you, but they don’t realize what is actually good for them. A government of a space empire cannot be a democracy. You have to have order to maintain the rule over so many worlds.”

“Save me from military intellectuals!” moaned Ferrari.

“Give me the fusion gun, Commander,” said our former friend. “I will take responsibility for their deaths.”

“Ruts rowing on here?” said the metallic voice of a mechanoid mutt, possibly a Great Dane.

I looked at Ham. He had his hands free, ready to grab a gun and fight for our lives against impossible odds.

“Commander Doo!” The two commanders stiffly saluted in utter surprise. “What are your orders, sir?” said Commander Blackie.

“I rahnt rorder! Rese men are under the protection of Rord Rayrond King! Roo will not harm them!”

“What? Lord Doo! We have to kill them. They are a danger to the Imperium.”

The snake-eyed commander seemed visibly relieved. It was as if this message from the dog’s mouth was exactly what he wanted to hear.

“Will you release us, then?” asked Duke Ferrari.

“Res!” said the mechanoid dog. “Roo are free. Rord King rahnts it that way.”

“I protest!” cried our commando friend, our false friend.

“You’re a weasel,” said Blackie. His slug-thrower gave off a quick blast, piercing the traitor in the chest plate of his armor. As he slumped dead to the floor, Ham began freeing us from our cuffs. The Black Commander helped.

“We are grateful,” said Duke Ferrari. How can we repay you?”

The dog-mechanoid looked at us with artificial eyes, creepy eyes. “Roo rill rule Farwind as risely as roo took care of riss sector before. Re are all allies now.” It didn’t seem right to be set free by a mechanical talking dog, at least, not without a set of meddling kids to go with him, but I was in no mood to question our good fortune.

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March 7, 2020 · 6:01 pm

Book Cover Art

I have taken a vow to do only my own covers for my books from here on out. I can draw well. And I have a good artistic eye, at least until I lose my eyesight to glaucoma because I can’t afford eye doctors. So, today’s Art Day post will be about the covers to my books.

This clunky cover was my first published book, published by a big-mistake publisher called Publish America, a company that dissolved in class-action lawsuits.

I-Universe insisted on giving me a cover that had nothing to do with the story in the book. A girl flying a kite at night? What is that? At no point in the story does anything happen that is even remotely like that.

Page Publishing at least used my own artwork to create the cover for Magical Miss Morgan. They were also incompetent publishers selling me overpriced publishing services that were basically worthless.