Category Archives: feeling sorry for myself

The Superb Owl

NFL Annual Owner's Meeting 2015

Explaining to my wife why I had to watch the Super Bowl, even though my favorite team was humiliated in the last round… I tried to text her about the game.  The auto-correct kept insisting I was planning to watch the Superb Owl on the big-screen TV.

Well, it was kind of a Superb Owl.  I went in hating the Panthers for their treatment of my team.  I have also always been a Broncos fan.  I actually played for the Broncos in high school.  I played outside linebacker for the Belmond Broncos in Belmond, Iowa.

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Carolina was supposed to win because Cam Newton had been so dominant through the entire 2016 season.

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A lot of people I know hate Cam Newton because of the dancing and celebrating.  They seem to think he is inappropriately arrogant and somehow bad because of it.  But I don’t agree.  I kind of like him.  He has that easy Magic Johnson sparkle in his eyes.  Talent and ability roll off him and infect his whole team with confidence and swagger.  I actually like the thing he started with giving touchdown footballs away to kids in the crowd.  I think he’s a gifted athlete and a good role  model.  But, of course, I do not have that innate redneck ability to find fault in people of color.

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Of course, this was probably Peyton Manning’s final game.  It was nice for him to win a final Superb Owl to finish off such a monumental career.  He is suffering from numerous injuries and eroding skills.  He had to win the game with his brain instead of his arm.  He is also under a cloud of suspicion about using human growth hormone to come back from injury.  I am also not offended by athletes that want to take advantage of pharmacological science to prolong and enhance their careers.  If it is actually cheating and not just something we are presumptuously trying to protect them from, then I don’t think the players themselves are primarily responsible.  The clubs, the owners, and the media drive that problem and are enablers.

Despite all the ruffled owl feathers, the game was a classic good game.  And the team that most deserved to win is the one that took home the Superb Owl trophy.  Denver has a magnificent defense, and they were able to keep Newton and the Panthers from doing all the remarkable things they are capable of doing.  I wish Arizona’s defense had played that well.  The MVP Von Miller personally helped the Denver defense score a fumble-recovery touchdown that probably decided the game.  He also stripped the ball from Newton late in the game to take away Carolina’s last shot at a come-from-behind victory.  The Broncos earned that victory.  Peyton didn’t actually win it, so much as he preserved it by not messing up so badly the Panthers could recover.  It was not a showboat game like the Cardinals played against the Steelers in 2009.  It was a good defensive game.

And I am not one of those people who want to make fun of Cam Newton for being upset at the loss.  He has a right to disappointment, especially considering how drastic his personal change in fortunes really was in this game.  My team was where he is now two weeks ago.  So, this was an ugly, messy, hard-fought game, and I am really glad I got the wife to let me watch it with her on the big-screen TV she bought at Christmas time… Superb Owl 50!

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Filed under feeling sorry for myself, football fan, humor, sports

The Joys of Texas Roadways

Yesterday I was in a car accident that I wasn’t even a participant in.  Wait, is that the right way to say it?  I was in a car wreck when I wasn’t in my car.  No, that doesn’t sound right either.  Driving skills in Texas were definitely on display yesterday as I lay ill in my bed and a passing Texas motorist unintentionally held a mini demolition derby with my car on the street.

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As you can see from the un-funny picture Paffooney above, it was mainly the left hind leg of the old pony that took the hit.  The other car hit the rear driver’s side wheel with enough force to flatten the tire, wreck the rim, and bend the end of the axle so that, with an emergency spare in place, I could still pick up my kids from school, though it was with a definite wibble-wobble added to the experience.  It was an inconvenient accident for me.  But it was worse for the other guy.  His car bounced off mine and skidded down the street about 200 feet.  It came to rest against the curb with a front wheel so bent that the steering wheel could no longer move it.  It sat at a weird angle to the rest of the car.

The young guy driving was rather shaken up.  He had trouble calling for the police to come and make an accident report because his hands were still shaking, yet he felt guilty enough that he wouldn’t let me make the call.  I tried to be as calm and helpful as possible.  I found out he was also originally from Iowa.  He also moved to Texas for work after college.  He could easily have been me thirty years ago.  He said that he had just dropped a friend off in the neighborhood, and the friend had left a drink cup from 7-Eleven on the dash.  When the cup fell, he made the mistake of trying to catch it, and drove directly into my car.

The timing of the accident was miserable.  I was already feeling ill before it happened, and it caused me to have to stand outside to give and send information to his insurance, my insurance, the police officer, and AAA Automotive Assistance to make my car drive-able  enough to get my kids from school during the Friday afternoon rush.  The repairs are going to be extensive because of a bent axle.  But I survived it.  And it gave me something to post for today.  So let me end with a reprise of my cartoon homage to Texas city driving.

The Car Chase of Life

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Filed under autobiography, feeling sorry for myself, humor, Paffooney

Blue Monday Visit to the QT

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I have to admit to having cheated on my first love.  But I have come back now to be faithful from here on out.  Last Summer I bought one of those free-refill cups at RaceTrac.  But it was unfulfilling.   You only get 20 oz. in the free refill cup.  And the free refills expired at the end of July.  So I have come back to the daily, or even twice daily, 32 oz. cup of Diet Coke from QT.  You knew that’s what I meant, right?

I know all the employees at QT at least by sight if not by name.  I don’t even have to tell them any more that the plastic cup I am using is a carefully saved and cleaned cup so that I deserve the refill price.  (I am not a curmudgeon who has to save ten cents on every purchase.  I do it to re-use and recycle and save the planet Earth from wasted plastic.  Really I do.)  They also know without my saying that even though it says “debit card” on the front, it works as credit.  (Except for that one kinda stupid guy who only works the really late and really early shifts.)  One of the workers there is a neighborhood kid that was in my class for two days when I was a substitute history teacher at Long Middle School nine years ago.  He’s changed a lot from when I first knew him.  He has turned from a goofy, bean-bodied twelve-year-old with big brown myopic eyes and a fly that never stayed zipped into a massive hulk of a twenty-one-year old service station associate worker.  He doesn’t even realize that I knew him when…

Grandma, Henry, and the Princess on the Beach

Grandma, Henry, and the Princess on the Beach

…and I know it is kinda pathetic that I am now so limited in my contact with the rest of humanity, especially with the family away in Florida for Spring Break, me stuck at home with illness and a pooping dog, and being retired without any working-man’s daily duties any more, that a visit to QT is the highlight of my day.  But it isn’t.  The highlight occurs when I start writing.  I enjoy laughing at my own funny-bits in this post, and the novel that I am working on… well, flights of fancy is putting it mildly.  I have been up in World War I biplane, in the midst of a dogfight between a promising young Allied pilot for the Lafayette Escadrille  and a German ace who represents evil incarnate and is being controlled by an evil alien-designed robot from the future.  I also have been in the tunnels under Castle Sinistre, or Château Sinistre as it is known in the Somme.  There I have been with the time-travelling heroes who are trying to rescue a rabbit-man created by an evolutionary science experiment gone wrong and an insane brother-in-law of the scientist who created the rabbit-man.  My imagination breaks free of the stifling cage my old, lame body and my current life have become.

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This little essay quite accurately reflects what I write and why I write it.  Happy people and healthy people and normal people would all be on the beach instead of where I am now.  They would never be home-bound Emily-Dickenson writer-people whose daily highlight is a cup of Diet Coke from QT  But I am in the clouds now, somewhere over the rainbow, and I am content, because that’s the corner I’ve written myself into.

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Filed under feeling sorry for myself, humor, NOVEL WRITING, Paffooney