Scherzo 14 – Spaceheart Joins the Space Opera
She was the size and shape of a blond-haired human girl of about fourteen years of age. She wore one of those tech-level 25 armored space bikinis, and Dr. Hooey had to admit she looked pretty appealing in it.
“So, they issued you that armored bikini instead of the usual Time Knight’s eccentric, colorful costume?”
“Oh, yes, by my special request,” said the girl. “It’s fully functional as a space suit, putting atmosphere around me inside an electromagnetic bubble that will also shield me from radiation, lasers, micro-meteors, blades, microwaves, nuclear blasts, and even slug-thrower bullets.”
“Ahem, yes…” Hooey wasn’t sure whether he should be harsh with his evaluation, or just charmed with her natural enthusiasm. Her enthusiasm alone was of a kind that could defeat space criminals, evade alien attacks, and charm world leaders. And that happy grin could certainly kill a grizzly bear at thirty paces. “Prepared for practically anything, aren’t we?”
“Well, being prepared is the key to everything you have accomplished Dr. Hooey. I studied you carefully while I was in the academy. You more than any other Time Knight we discussed. I prayed to the Seven Goddesses of the Pleiades that I would be chosen to be your companion on this next journey through time.”
“Ahem… your name is Spaceheart, I believe?”
“Yes. That is definitely my preferred moniker of the moment.”
“I suppose I can’t just call you Becky or Alice or something?”
“No, please. I like Spaceheart. It is a cool pulp-fiction sort of science-fictiony name.”
Hooey almost said, “Ahem” again, but he was running out, so he decided to save the last few for later.
“So, one of the main jobs of the time-travel companion is the keeping of order inside the time-ship.”
Spaceheart looked around at the mess inside the Star Wars. She shuddered. Wires were hanging from the dark space where the ceiling allegedly was supposed to be. Burnt panels covered the control console with melted buttons, charred thing-a-majiggs, and a grossly detached doodle-ma-whoop. You couldn’t make the chronometric time jumps without a re-attached doodle-ma-whoop. And you would need to replace every single thing-a-majigg in order to prevent the Time Knights inside the ship from prematurely aging or turning back into babies. A glitch in either direction could pop you out of existence without warning.
“It got damaged a bit with that last mission, huh?”
“Oh, yes. It actually killed me, so that I had to reboot myself with an entirely new and better-looking reincarnation.”
“But, the Lizard Lady was successful before she died?”
“Well, technically… Um, she’s not actually dead yet at this time… er, the relative dimension in time and space she currently inhabits.”
“Oh, that’s interesting…”
“Yes, um… she’s in position to help us win the battle at Outpost. So, our job is mainly to correct whatever goes wrong with the ancient device that Ged Aero is trying to send to another universe.”-
“I guess I better get started on the clean-up and repair procedures.”
“Ahem… yes, I didn’t mean to use up that one, but if you don’t mind… I would like to pull up a lawn chair and watch you work. Um, you are going to wear that armored bikini, right?”
“Can I take pictures too?”
Spaceheart smiled at the dirty old man who turned younger again.