Yes, now that I am a goofy old coot, I am becoming forgetful. I have repeatedly been unable to remember names of people, places, and things. Last week I couldn’t remember the first name of Arizona Cardinal’s hero quarterback Kurt Warner to give him credit for almost winning the 2008 Superbowl. Worse than that, I couldn’t remember the word “fiancé” when I needed to introduce my eldest son’s fiancé at my mother’s funeral. Saying, “My son’s lady friend,” got me into some trouble. Jack Warner? Was it Jack Warner? No.
I am used to having an incredible stockpile of useless trivia available in my stupid old head to pull out at a moment’s notice. It was so bad that nobody was willing to play Trivial Pursuit with me. Even now when nobody is even able to remember that that was a game you could play a decade ago. Now, however, there must be holes in my head that regularly leak nouns.
I even forgot to write a new, original post yesterday (when, ironically, I was supposed to post this essay) because a family member has decided to contest Mom’s will to get money instead of keeping the farm in the family. Of course, I forgot because I was busy arguing and being called a liar on the phone. Siblings can be both a comfort and a curse.
On Saturday my memory helped prevent me from telling the verifiable truth when I say, “I am a nudist.” I had plans to visit Bluebonnet Nudist Park for the first time since 2017. I had called ahead to get permission to visit. I had bought all the necessary supplies; sunscreen, mosquito repellent, emergency diabetic snacks, etc. I had thoroughly bathed, applied sunscreen on parts that hadn’t seen the sun in years, and bought a charging converter for my car that could keep my phone alive for the fifty-minute drive.
And then I set out.
But I forgot to pick up my mask in the bedroom. So, I circled back. As I pulled into the drive again, I found the mask on the seat next to me where I had intentionally put it in order not to forget it and then forgot that I had done that. So, I set out again.
But I forgot my towel. Not a thing you want to attend a nudist park without. So, I circled back again.
..And on the drive returning home for the second time, I realized that doing a fifty-five-mile drive with the inability to remember important details was not a very safe thing to do. Of course, the adventure of going to a nudist park where you potentially only know three people who’ve seen you naked before is not a thing you do for safety’s sake. But it was not worth the risk. It may have been kinda cold anyway. So, maybe next Spring. If I can remember…