The Puzzle of Life 1 : Am I Worthy?

Have I lived a life that makes me worthy?

As I set out to make a case for myself on this key question of Mickey’s very existence, I have to admit first that several important terms need to be defined.

Fotografi efter blyantstegning udført ca. 1840 af N. C. Kierkegaard

The definitions I am going to rely on owe a lot of their cow-poop qualities to this foofy guy. His name is  Søren Kierkegaard , the frakked-up father of existentialism. You may have noticed from the picture Mickey stole from Wikipedia that he doesn’t smile much. There’s a good reason for that. Although he was a nominal Christian with a sort of faith in that religion, he was beginning to despair about juggling so many atheistic philosophy knives inherited from the philosophy-mountebanks known as  Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel and  Immanuel Kant, Those extra-foofy guys kept coming up with foofy arguments that made the ridiculous things that church-type people rely on to keep them comfortable in the face of the fact that, if you are alive, then one day you will die, less and less believable in view of… you know, logic. So, since those philosophy knives kept falling and cutting into things with foofy precision, the rules of juggling had to be compromised.

Here are the terms that need to be defined;

Objectivity – means it has the quality of being firmly rooted in facts only.

Subjectivity – means, forget the facts, do what makes you happy

Foofy – means goofed up by an inexplicable addiction to philosophical ideas.

Kierkegaard decided, being the morose monkey-flinger he was, that foofy questions should rely more on subjectivity than objectivity. When it comes to the Meaning Of Life, there is no objective answer to the question. So, Søren decided that to get an answer, he could just make something up. This is why Existentialism basically argues that to find a purpose in life, you have to define that purpose yourself. Meaning is what you say it means. You get to have your own way, or you can throw a foofy fit.

Have I lived a life that makes me worthy?

Well, everybody gets to subjectively state what it means to be worthy. So, most people will say they are worthy and their friends are worthy, and mostly everybody else is worth only cow poop. And existentially they are not wrong.

But I am also allowed to say that I am worthy. In fact, I can legally declare that everyone is born worthy. And only a minority of people live lives filled with so much bile and hatred, thievery and knavery in their daily deeds that they deserve to burn in a Hell that I firmly believe cannot exist.

My conclusion has to be, even though it is only subjective and not provable by science, that Mickey has lived a life that makes him worthy.

That’s in spite of the fact that Mickey has said some incredibly stupid things in this blog. And he has been a nudist, a Jehovah’s Witness, and a middle-school English teacher, all things that Catholics, Republicans, and certain middle-school students believe sincerely belong in the hottest regions of Satan’s kingdom having to be lectured by Rush Limbaugh about free-thinking and fiscal responsibility while cockroaches and Banko Merricka lawyers chew off his fingernails and toenails.

But he has taught kids to read and write for 31 years and is proud of that fact. So, his worthiness is not wrong… at least according to Søren..


Filed under humor, Paffooney, philosophy

2 responses to “The Puzzle of Life 1 : Am I Worthy?

  1. Mickey, you should be proud of your accomplishments. And, we all need a good dose of foofy. Keith

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