Canto 134 – Meanwhile, the Rebound…
King Killer stared out the main viewport of his Flagship, the Sherman Hemsley, looking intently at Grand Admiral Cloudstalker’s new flagship, the Giant Leaf-eater.
“It seems like such an insult for legendary pirates like Arkin Cloudstalker to be flying a dinosaur-shaped space ship. Certainly, the brains behind this new fleet coulda come up with something more respectful. It’s so silly… and green!”
“You are complaining for Cloudstalker? Or f0r yourself?” asked Wicked Wanda.
“Yeah, yeah… I’m not happy for me either. His just has to sit there like some kinda brontosaurus, and he don’t have to charge about like a bison in a stampede.”
“You didn’t have to accept a triceratops ship, you know. And that thing Cloudstalker has is a brachiosaurus. There never was such a thing as a brontosaurus. It was actually an apatosaurus.”
“So, you are now the ship’s dinosaur expert?”
“You know I’m not. I’m your fleet communications officer… and paramour.”
“Yeah, I know it.”
King glared around the bridge at all of the snickering crewmen. All seven of them on the bridge of the Hemsley.
“What? You subordinates have opinions?” He growled menacingly. Everyone ceased laughing instantly.
And then a gray and black trash dumpster materialized on the bridge of Admiral Killer’s flagship as if some gigantic material synthesizer pieced it together from random atoms there.
“What’s this on my bridge?”
“Um… a dumpster?” a timid crewman ventured.
They all heard the familiar snap-hiss of a sealed airlock opening, and then the thing morphed into a 1950s telephone booth. It was almost a familiar sight to Admiral Killer.
“Dr. Hooey?”
The character who stepped out of the time-ship Star Wars was completely unrecognizable to King.
“Yes, it’s me. I ran into some difficulties in Outpost’s near future. I had to be reborn again, as Galagoans do, but at least I get to be younger in this body.”
“Um, why are you different from the old Hooey?”
“I understand perfectly,” Wicked Wanda said. “Having been a holovid star myself, I definitely understand the need to change faces as you start a new season.”
“So glad you get it, old girl. Forgive me if I turn out to be a bit cheekier than the old me.”
“So, why is the new you even here?” demanded King.
“Ah, yes! To make sure you, Admiral King Killer, don’t give up in the coming battle of Outpost. All you have to do to win it and establish the New Star League, is do what you intended to do before you started to have second thoughts. If you just do the things you were supposed to do all along, the plan Ham Aero carries out will work and you all will be victorious.”
“Um, ah… what?”
But not even Wicked Wanda could interpret that one for him. Because when did the second thoughts he was not supposed to have actually begin? Were these old second thoughts? Were they second thoughts that happened after the present time? And what the heck were the first thoughts he actually had to do to win?
“Oh, never mind. You’ll figure it out when the time is right.”
“And if I don’t figure it out?”
“Well, I guess, then, that the universe we know dies this time… once again.” King Killer glared at this new Hooey. Yes, it really was a new Hooey. Just like the old Hooey, only dumber.
Catch a Falling Star 