For all of my striving for success as a writer, working at teaching and substitute teaching for money, and trying like hell to be loved by others in my life, none of those things are the real rewards I seek.
In fact, rewards and punishments have never really motivated me.
I am moved to do things because they are simply, in my humble opinion, the right thing to do.
I have on a number of occasions done things in spite of the consequences because I deemed it to be the action required of me by the universe.
Yesterday I finally got the government stimulus check promised back in April. I am happy to get the money. But it comes after the the bills I had to scrape and save for and pay late on borrowed time. And it won’t be long before something unexpected comes up and takes it all away from me again.
It is nice to have an unexpected event be positive for a change. But life goes on. And this one good thing is not the end of all matters.