The Pessimist Grins

I have published novel number 15, very probably the last book I will be able to finish before I die. Of course, I have said that about every novel since number seven. So, this is actually pleasant surprise number 8. That’s the benefit of always preparing for the worst.

It is hard to find gloomy-doomy pictures to illustrate this article, since I’m more of a sunshine and smiles sort of artist.

So, let me list a few of my gloomy-doomy predictions that will hopefully also turn out better than planned.

  • Governor Abbot is smart enough to know that opening up the the State of Texas to make the economy more profitable for rich white guys again will turn the State into a morgue full of plague victims. We have not reached the peak of the pandemic in this State yet. And our governor is smart enough to know that people will die. But he’s also evil enough not to care.
  • I will probably die in the next two weeks. Maybe tomorrow, knowing how my luck usually plays out.
  • Trump will get reelected in the fall since all the Democrats, including Joe Biden, have enough empathy to try help Republicans, sick because of Trump’s profits-before-people agenda, and then they will die from the virus, which Republican voters will not die from (because God protects idiots from the consequences of their own idiocy. Only the smart Republicans will die).
  • The rest of the world after Trump’s reelection will all perish in about twelve years from climate change because even Republicans cannot live on surface temperatures of one thousand degrees Fahrenheit (except of course for the Republicans who don’t understand they can actually die from excessive heat, and so, will have to design fire-proof banjos to keep on pickin’ and grinnin’.)
My writing desk (seen metaphorically)
  • The universe will happily percolate onward for billions of years without human beings from planet Earth. (Or possibly human beans from planet Mirth).
  • And the universe will end with some multiple of the number 42.

My book, seen in the link above, is still free today in Kindle e-book format. It is a story told by a ventriloquist’s dummy who has to try to stop a serial killer from killing his young friends. It is a comedy with some dark parts in it. And the book probably has nothing at all to do with the end of the universe and life as we know it… probably.

And that’s a look at all the bad things I fully expect to happen as life goes forward. So, statistically at least, there is a good chance that I will be pleasantly surprised about one or two of those things. Life can’t be all bad if you have a butterfly’s chance in Hell to have things turn out all right. That kind of irony can make even a pessimist grin.

5 Comments

Filed under humor, Paffooney, pessimism

5 responses to “The Pessimist Grins

  1. Your 3rd prediction is funny. Let’s hope you stay to write your 100th book. Sending good vibes from Africa. Stay strong.

  2. Yikes, and at least your book news is good!)

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