What Mickey Thinks

Today’s illustrations are all borrowed from the Twitter site, Comics in the Golden Age https://twitter.com/ComicsintheGA
Mickey’s thinking has always been somewhat suspect. Not only is he so overly-creative that he can’t think in straight lines, only curlicues, he is also a Texas Democrat, a retired public school teacher, a Baby Boomer, an amateur cartoonist, and a writer of YA novels. Those categories are all marginalized and suspect in modern society today. So, nobody actually takes seriously any of the things that Mickey actually thinks… if he is, indeed, capable of thinking. But let’s take a sideways look at it anyway.
Mickey often makes Lou Costello-like mistakes, but at least he knows who Lou Costello and Bud Abbot are, and is able to look them up on Google.
One thing that Mickey definitely thinks is true is that, because of the invention of the internet, there has never been a better time for finding information, evaluating facts, and doing research than now. It used to be that digging in the library was a limited source because it only provided those resources the library administrator could afford, have donated by the odd bibliophile, or whimsically thought was a good source of information worth the price. You couldn’t cross-reference things and look up cited sources and verify footnotes in the same almost-instantaneous ways you can nowadays with a simple point and click, or manipulation of your monkey-thumbs on the touch-screen.
Old Archie is a teenage doofus, and so, much more likable than any modern Riverdale version.
So, knowing that Mickey surfs the internet on a skateboard of 1960’s comic-book notions and 1940’s radio-play morality, we can now take a look at some of the doofus notions he entertains in his stupid head because of stuff found on the internet.
  1. Aliens crashed their interstellar skateboard near Roswell New Mexico in 1947. This thing Mickey thunk is based on the testimony of Major Jesse Marcel as told to UFO researcher and former physicist Stanton Friedman. And the strongest argument is why the government went to such lengths to change the story and cover something up. Weather balloons? Project Mogul? No.
  2. William Shakespeare is not the real name of the author of Shakespeare’s plays. The poor man misspelled his own name on documents in the real world, yet in the world of the theater, he was an unparalleled poet and master of the language. He knew things about Italy and life in royal courts of Europe without ever having been out of the precincts of central London. Mark Twain didn’t believe it. And his name wasn’t the real name of the author of Huckleberry Finn either.
  3. The political and social story of this country is controlled by grifters, con men, politicians, Republicans, Skull-and-Bonesmen, bankers, insurance salesmen, and other criminals who only tell lies. And Mickey thinks this because of first-hand eye-witness evidence and numerous bills and charges that reduced Mickey’s stock of valuable things to next to nothing. The best things in life are, indeed, free. But men with too much money and power will monetize that freedom.
And I do suppose that you’d have to be an idiot to think and believe what Mickey has thunk. But Mickey has reasons why he can’t just let it go. Truth is truth, even, sometimes when it can be proven false. And the truest thing is, Mickey will never stop thinking while he lives. Think about this; Walt Disney died before Christmas in 1966. Walt Disney not only produced Mickey Mouse cartoons, he provided a voice and life to the character. So, does that mean that since 1966, Mickey Mouse has been a zombie? A member of the walking/talking dead? Think about it like Mickey does.

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