Betty Boop Talks Politics

BettyPopeye_smallbanner

Recently, in a Dallas area restaurant which will remain nameless in this post because Bugsy Bugswatter doesn’t deserve free advertising for his dead cockroach parfaits after the recent food poisoning of several teachers who couldn’t afford to go to McDonald’s instead on Texas’ overly-generous teachers’ salaries, Betty Boop and Popeye the Sailor met for coffee and a chance to reminisce about the good old days at Fleischer Studios in the 1930’s.  I happened to overhear their conversation because I was in the next booth trying to choke down a semi-nutritious garden-weed salad with dung-beetle protein wafers.

3c75dc7210ea506295a4b4f6fa770568--betty-boop-classic-comics Betty; “Oh, Popeye, it is so nice to see you again.  You look so Boop-boop-i-doop after all these years.”

Popeye; “Aw, yer jest sayin’ that cuz it’s true.  ‘Course we is cartoon carickachurs, and being in movie cartoons makes ya immortalized sorta.”

Betty; “That’s true. I still have my girlish figure even though technically I’m 87 years old.”

Popeye; “Can I gets ya a Spinach souffle with grasshopper meat to go wit yer coffee?”

Betty; “Yes, but I wish Bugsy didn’t have to put bugs in everything he serves.  And why do you have to take the order?” 

“Cost cuttin’ measures by Bugsy to qualicafy fer Presidink Trump’s newest tax cuts.  He fires all his employees so’s the cuskomers kin wait their own tables.  He saves money on salaries and he gits a 100% tax cut for makin’ lots o’ money offen poor folks.”

“I often wonder if I couldn’t run successfully for President too.  If Trump could win, any celebrity with name recognition stands a decent chance.  I wonder what kind of political tactics I would have to employ?”

Betty_Boop_&_Popeye_Lovers

“Well, the way I sees it, the foist thing ya has to do is lie bigly about the things you is gonna do for people who is suffering unner politickshians who has disappointemented peoples fer years.”

“Like saying you are going to make America great again, and you are going to start winning so much that everybody will get sick of winning?”

“Yep!  Lots o’ braggin’ like Bluto so’s ya kin make people think yer a much better persing than you really are.”

“Like how Trump made everyone believe he wasn’t a money-laundering criminal tax cheat?”

Billy_Boop_and_Popeye_5

“Yep.  Like that.  And ya has ta makes yer emenies all shut up about yer past doin’s.  Like how Trump goes on Twitter and tweets horrible junk about ennybody whats criticizes him, and shouts “FAKE NEWS!” so much that nobody believes journalisks no more.”

betty-by-piano-drinking

“But my past deeds aren’t so bad.  I don’t think I would have to shut up anybody who wanted to talk about my cartoons or my singing voice.  I proved in court once that I didn’t steal my singing style.”

  “Well, there was that one cartoon in witch you appeared topless, wit jest a flower neckless to cover up yer booblies.”

Popeye the Sailor (1933)

“Well, but that was tastefully done.  And people aren’t hung up about scandals like that any more, are they?  I mean, Trump got away with that “pussy grabbing” comment, didn’t he?”

“Yep, but remembers, he is a growed-up white man with a reputation fer ownin’ beauty paginks.  And you is a womming wit a reputation for bein’ all sexy.  That’s why they won’t take ya seriously.  But wit me as yer campaign manager, we could do it.  Betty Boop in 2020!”

“No, Popeye, I think I won’t try it.  The next president will have such an awful mess to fix.  We have to get somebody who will work hard and do the right thing.”

“Well, I’m jest sayin’…  I’d vote fer ya.  We were a great team back in the 1930’s.”

“Yes.  Our discussion today has made me long for the good old days… The Great Depression, bread lines, FDR, and movies only costing a dime, and every movie came with at least one cartoon.”

“Don’t worry yer purty head, Betty.  We’ll be back there soon enough… the way the currink Presidenk is going… the Depression and the bread lines at least!”

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s