Butts and Nolts

“Don’t you actually mean nuts and bolts?” someone is surely going to say.  Oh, yes, I misspelled that little item on purpose.  This is another inane post about the writing process and trying to improve my “brand” with my blog.  It is something I have no earthly idea how it works or how to go about it.  So I often have to go back and think about the nuts and bolts of how you put this stuff together and try like heck to figure out what I am doing wrong.

Dumb Luck

Doofy Fuddbugg here is an example of what a “Nolt” is.

So, the problem is, while the blog as a whole has been gaining momentum, my blog traffic is down for this month.  People are not viewing and reading my actual stuff and nonsense as much as they were in the other months besides February.  So I have to look again at what works and why it works.

A lot of my work generates interest from the real world outside of my stupid little head because of the artwork.  I am really probably better at drawing colored pencil Paffooneys than I am at the constant yadda-yadda-yadda of trying to write humor.  Pictures like Mr. Fuddbugg here draw people in better than anything else I can post.  Of course, the artwork I post from my favorite cartoonists and comic artists of the past, like Wally Wood and Rumiko Takahashi draw far more views than my own artwork does.  This is due to the undeniable fact that they are better known and better at it than I am.

And both of those artists are well known for the “butts” that are in their works.  Yes, nudes and naked pictures increase your blog traffic.  Two of my top ten posts of the past two years are Be Naked More (https://catchafallingstarbook.net/2015/12/20/be-naked-more/) and Naked and Nude (https://catchafallingstarbook.net/2015/03/04/naked-and-nude/).  (Sorry for the poor link quality, but my computer is still having brain farts and keeps shrinking stuff and blowing stuff up at random, so I cannot, for the moment, make proper links.)  So, I can probably boost my blog traffic by posting another nude I have never posted before, even though it may make it impossible to share this on Facebook.

Gryphon

This picture is actually a very complicated thing to post.  I have issues with things like sexuality and nudity because I was assaulted as a child.  And some of my nude drawings involve real-life models whose privacy I don’t want to invade.  (Yes, I had a real Gryphon pose nude for this picture.)  But this picture is old, having been created during my wild days as a grad-school college nerd.  Adding the “nude” tag to this post will undoubtedly draw in viewers.  (There really do seem to be a lot of people out there who want to look at naked Gryphons.)  And I am not ashamed at having drawn this pencil-piece.  It brings back lots of grand and glorious memories, though probably not the ones you think I mean.

Finally, I may need to get more aggressively insulting.  It seems to be the thing to do to create political humor with the impending Presidential Election coming up between the Wicked Witch of Wall Street and the Racist Orange King.

20160511_085121

The Orange King is very, very HYUGE! but his hands are small.

But there are difficulties in pulling that one off.  I mean, I spent a lifetime learning how to love the unlovable in the classroom because all students are able to learn and we owe them all, as teachers, the best education we can give them.  (Believe me, you will have a better life because I spent my teaching career trying to iron out the stupid from the laundry basket of Texas education.)  So I will have to settle for a more serene and gentle sort of political wit (if I may be allowed one last oxymoron).  Because I agree with Neal Gaiman on the subject of Political Correctness.

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There’s my two cents, such as it is.  Four cents after inflation.  I have had my say about the Butts and Nolts of this essay.  And if that’s not enough to explain it, then feel free to call me names in the comments and look at some of my other recent posts that nobody is reading so you can see how terrible those are too.  And thank you for actually reading the whole post.

8 Comments

Filed under artwork, blog posting, feeling sorry for myself, finding love, humor, nudes, Paffooney, politics, writing humor

8 responses to “Butts and Nolts

  1. I read the whole post.
    And I like it.
    And I empathize with you, because the numbers game aspect of blogging (i.e. traffic) is really hard to figure out. I haven’t figured it out yet, and doubt if I ever will.

    • I think a majority of us whose names aren’t Rowlings, or James, or even Steven King face a larger question. Why do we write if we will probably never live to see any actual fruits from our labors? I don’t know about you, but I really don’t have any choice. I have to write. I have to try to get my novels published and read by someone, anyone, even if that someone hasn’t been born yet. I write because it makes me into me. It is who I am and who I must become. And the artifact in words and rhyme and metaphor and tale is an essential possibility… an essential roll of the dice of destiny. So there’s my two cents, probably inflated now to six, and full of goofiness, but there never-the-less.

    • Oh, and thank you again for reading the whole thing. It helps to know that somebody still has enough time to waste to do such a thing and make me happy.

      • Dee

        I’ve read the whole thing and I really enjoy your writing! Your honesty is refreshing as some of these blogs today are completely nauseating! Just seems that everyone is a home decorating queen who has a perfect husband and perfect children whom she cooks perfect meals for in their perfect home (and money is never an issue!?!) 😣 I like that you cover a diverse set of topics, even if some are just about every day things. Keep it up!

      • I am glad you liked it. I am also glad that you appreciate a “diverse set of topics”. My mind has a tendency to fire off in four directions at once. Some people call that “being an idiot”. I like to call it “being a divergent thinker.”

  2. Reblogged this on Catch a Falling Star and commented:

    Old posts contain old ideas… but sometimes they are still a little bit funny.

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