Novel Problems


It was a simple plan, really.  I paid a review company to review my book and post the result on their website.  It was affordable, and research showed that their services were not a mere waste of money.  How could anything go wrong?

Well, it’s me, of course.  The fact is, my book is not the only book with that same title.  I sent them the link to my book on Amazon.  They had all the right info to pick the right book.  They, of course, picked the wrong book to read and review.


Naturally, they can’t tell the difference between my YA science fiction novel about an abandoned alien boy being adopted by a childless Earth couple and a Hollywood romance between sun-soaked beautiful people.

Oh, well, it would be funny if I weren’t running out of time for making waves with my novel and getting some notice.  I can’t seem to get another novel published and everyone is ignoring my little bookie thingy.  Serves me right for thinking I have a good reason to write stuff and nonsense.

And of course, it is not my only unique and novel problem.  I am currently trying to get essential yard work done before the leaves kill the grass on our yard.


I raked for half an hour with a bad back stinging me constantly, and all I got accomplished was one bag of leaves!


I really need trees that are more housebroken than this.  If I drop dead doing yard work, I will die an unknown novelist that nobody ever reads.  I am sure several people who have read my work would think that’s actually a good thing, but I’m inclined to disagree with them.

And leaf and novel problems have exacerbated my doll-collecting mania.  The third day of April and I have already bought two more dolls after vowing to quit the habit cold turkey.  But these are Minnie Mouse and Daisy Duck dolls.  How can any doll collector with hoarding disorder resist?  At least, two dolls (and their horse) completes the collection…. until they get around to making more of these sweet little things.


So, I have different problems than most people do.  But they are still problems.  I need to get busy and come up with some novel solutions.


Filed under collecting, humor, NOVEL WRITING, pessimism, photo paffoonies, work in progress, writing humor

5 responses to “Novel Problems

  1. To be a paid critic and critique the wrong book. So, if you paid a critic to critique this critic, they may be critical of the critic’s critique. That was hard.

    • I am mortified by the monkeyocity of the mangled, mixed-up mess of meaningless moronical mistakes. No… forgive me… I can’t write that.
      They ARE going to fix it. And your alliterations are astounding.

  2. I’m with Keith…..what a stupid mistake…..hope things get settled for you, soon…

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