There is only so much time you can spend making fun of Tronald Dump and Cred Tuz… Only so many “Ted Cruz is a lizard-man” jokes can be made before they are no longer funny. But it is never going to be less important during an election season than it is now.
Lizard-man Cruz is a religious-fanatic-poser who will lead us further into the realms of oligarchy and fascism. We see him constantly in the Republican Presidential debates using lizard tricks to get any advantage he can get. Telling Ben Carson supporters that Ben the Sleepy Dwarf was leaving the race and his supporters should vote for Cruz, the next best choice. Of course, Carson was still in the race. And all we got from the Cruz campaign was a big old “oopsie”. Those of us dedicated to making fun of Senator Cruz, especially those of us in Texas who have to take the blame for him, are trying our hardest to expose what he is to everyone who listens to us, and it isn’t working very well. Cruz, as sleazy and reviled as he is, still seems to get what he wants… at least preventing others from having what he doesn’t want us to have.
Here’s a lovely video of Ted Cruz from Bad Lip Reading on YouTube;
I have to admit that I had to watch this three times to figure out that they were matching words to his lips rather than just showing us stupid crap that Ted actually says. I mean, he really does talk and act like this. How was I supposed to know it was mere satire?
And as bad as Ted Cruz would be as a choice for President, Donald Trump would be far worse. The irrational humanoid orangutan is using the same sort of fear tactics that Herr Adolf used to rise in Germany in the 1930’s. He uses Mexicans and Muslims as whipping people instead of Jews, but he is similar in almost every tactic. In fact, I believe that Herr Hitler would have his own reality TV show if he lived in New York City in this day and age. He would definitely relish firing people on television, especially using real fire. This man is leading all the Republican candidates in the polls. He is even capable of beating Hillary Clinton due to her Benghazi-and-email tarnished reputation. We may soon be required to salute and shout “heil Donald!” in this country.
Any of the Republican candidates would be better than these two I have concentrated my ridicule upon, yet any of them would be a disaster. Kasich and Rubio are the most moderate and least-likely-to-destroy-all-life-on-earth. But Kasich wants to slaughter public education, and Rubio is actually an enemy to immigration reform, not an advocate. They are no bed of roses either. Bed of thorns maybe, but not sweet-smelling like roses.
So now I have used my 500 words to elucidate and lament the evils of politics as they have played out in this election year so far. I hope you will laugh with me at the ridiculousness of booger-eaters like Cruz and monkey-men like Trump. But I also hope you will take this humor at least a little bit seriously.