Playing the Evil Clown Game

One of the biggest dangers of Presidential elections is that one of the fools running for the office has to get elected.  So, how do you decide which of the many evil clowns are acceptable to elect?  It is critical to know what jokes and pranks they are most likely to pull on the American people if given the opportunity to run the show in the Bigtop.

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For instance, Mr. King’s observation here is not a joke.  Senator Cruz is infected with corporate vampirism because his corporate masters are the ancient Nosferatu brothers known as Charles and David Koch.  For years now, these Libertarian vampire overlords have been sucking money out of the middle class and their thirst for more green blood from this country’s financial jugulars is unquenchable.  Cruz is against Obamacare because it puts limits on healthcare-for-profit excesses that prey upon the elderly and the infirm to make their zombie hordes.

But I have spent a lot of time harping on the bad clowns that want to be president.  I haven’t given much time or thought to the good clowns, or the less-evil clowns.  In the Republican field, one has to look for the Stephen-King clowns that have eaten fewer children.  Using “It” as the yardstick, Marco Rubio and John Kasich seem to have cooked fewer kiddies into gingerbread than the majority of the field.  is (3)

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I might also point to Rand Paul, even though he has gingerbread dough on his chin and frosting for hair, except that Wednesday I condemned him as an idiot.  Libertarians do get the concept of what freedom could actually mean if watered and nurtured like a flower.  But unlike his goofy father Ron, Rand uses weed-killer instead of water.

Rubio is a Spanish-speaking Latino from Florida who actually knows what it is like to grow up brown in white America.  He gets it that Hispanics are considered second-class citizens and are to be talked down to as ignorant children that only need to be firmly told what is good for them, and expected to accept the poison pills without complaining about the taste.  He does get that immigrants have needs, and he is willing to help a little with one hand while he builds a wall against Mexico with the other hand.

Kasich actually said some very un-Republican things about illegal immigrants, suggesting they work harder than most people and get less help or benefits than anybody else.  He is for amnesty for hard-working immigrants who are already here, and intends to only wall off the ones who aren’t here yet.   He knows that undocumented workers have bolstered the economy of his home State of Ohio, and he he doesn’t want to get rid of them in Ohio, California, Texas, or anywhere else where they help the profit margin.  He will make them legal and then just pay them far less than they are worth, the way corporate America has been doing to middle-class white folks since the 1980’s.

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If you should choose Alfred E. Newman’s twin brother Scott Walker as your playing piece in this life-or-death Elect a Clown for President game, you should know that I will oppose you to my dying breath.  He has destroyed education in Wisconsin, and he not only destroys teachers’ unions, there is some evidence that he actually eats teachers for breakfast.

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I would like to warn you that I truly believe the only way to win this Evil Clown Game is not to play it with Republicans.  But I know there are enough people in the evil-people/stupid-people coalition to elect a Republican as the next President.  It is my prayer that we are at least smart enough to elect one of the not-so-evil clowns like Rubio or Kasich.  Our planet will be the loser if we elect another flight-suit-wearing rodeo clown like we did a few years back.

12 Comments

Filed under clowns, humor, politics

12 responses to “Playing the Evil Clown Game

  1. I don’t like any of them from either party. Matter of fact I was one of 97,000 Floridians that voted for Ralph Nader in 2000.

  2. Of the bunch, Kasich is the best candidate given his willingness to be bipartisan. Rubio needs to stop acting like a 65 year old white man. His positions betray the youth of America who believe in climate change, LGBT rights, opening up Cuba, etc.

    • I should clarify this to say “65 year-old white Republican” as I should not slight 65 year old progressive thinkers.

    • I should clarify this to say “65 year-old white Republican” as I should not slight 65 year old more progressive thinkers.

    • I agree 100%. Rubio is a dangerous clown. Kasich is closer to being a moderate Republican like we used to have, but his party is too dedicated to denying science and limiting education.

      • I recently moved from Miami where I lived for 60 years to Greensboro, NC. Rubio is such a jerk because he has to play to the rabid anti Castro million Cubans who have no sense or plans for reconciliation. They just scream Castro hate which is understandable but not sensible or the least bit productive. They were even able to get Miami to uninvite many Cuban authors, musicians and dance troupes on many occasions over the years. The congresswoman Ileana Ros Letinen is also kisses up to them and I know she is smarter than that as far as real policy change being sensible. Well that defeats dictatorship in their silly minds. . Some say the US got nothing. Well it’s the enslaved Cuban people that should get everything. Actually the US did get what it has wanted all along. By this effort Obama(at least he got this right) has just liberated Cuba ! The dictatorship lost everything as its grip on the people and country will now evaporate very quickly.

  3. I am happy that Cuba is released from the stupid punishments we have given them for far too long. It doesn’t make sense for the US to punish the average citizen of Cuba because we dislike their leader. It especially doesn’t make sense when it makes that leader more powerful over his own people. We here in Texas are shamed by Cuban/Canadian/American Ted Cruz. He has a huge potential base in Texas who are Spanish speaking and mostly democratic leaning. Cruz doesn’t even speak Spanish, let alone do anything to make Hispanic lives better. He is basically a HINO (Hispanic in name only) which is close to being HINI (basically another word for butt-hole). I myself, after teaching mostly Hispanic kids for so many years, consider myself a HIHO (Hispanic in Heart only).

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