An Overdose of Cheerios

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I was trying to think what I would post today, and coming up blank.  I have a pathological need to keep posting here, especially since my brain is currently switched to editing mode for my novel The Magical Miss Morgan.  One can’t keep a sacred oath to write every day if there is no writing going on other than editing (which doesn’t count because no new creative thoughts are being generated and the fertile spore-producing areas of my mental storage shed may grow sterile for want of fresh garbage being piled there).  So I went looking through my file of photo Paffoonies to find something I haven’t already inflicted on potential readers to the point of making them gag and doing something sensible like shutting off their computer for a while.  Unfortunately all I found was this potential gag-inducing library photo of the time the Mighty Thor got drunk on overripe Cheerios and milk and decided to commit cave-man love on beautiful topless mermaid Barbie.  (I know… topless and in the possession of a fifty-eight-year-old man… kinda creepy… but honest, I am intending to make a shell bra with real sea shells and just haven’t gotten around to it yet, though I have the shells selected and the material cut.  My sewing machine is broken.  Yeah, that’s my story… and I’m sticking to it).  (Goodness!  That last parenthetic expression is the fifteenth longest one I have ever written!)

The picture was taken moments before the hammer came down to bonk her lightly on the brain.  Fortunately, this is Barbie we are talking about, and the excess air inside her plastic head probably saved her from fatal brain damage.  She was one of a half dozen naked Barbie dolls I rescued from Goodwill.  She is grateful for any attention she gets nowadays and responded to Thor’s drunken love tap by falling madly in love with him.  She chased the god of thunder all around the library that day to give him a big, fat mermaid smooch on the lips (or is that “big, fat, mermaid smooch on the lips”?  …because she’s not a fat mermaid).  She would have caught him too, but the mermaid fin-dress that I also found in a resale bargain store caused her to have to hop, and my messy library has so many un-filed books on the floor that she kept tripping and falling flat on her… face (yes, the face would’ve obviously hit the floor first, right?).

A week later I caught him obviously thinking about doing it again.

She likes to sunbathe in front of the Cheerios box that holds up one of the shelves on a nearby book case where the nails are coming loose.  (I have fixed it since the picture was taken and used the Cheerios box full of sand to hold up something else entirely.)
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I bought a mind-reading app for my digital camera and applied it to this photo because I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why he might be thinking about doing it again.  I threw the moldy old discarded bowl of Cheerios away because… well, you know that spoiled milk smell, right?  So, it couldn’t be that again.  Anyway, here’s the processed picture because this is the end of this daily post.  I have passed 550 words already.

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5 Comments

Filed under Barbie and Ken, doll collecting, humor, messy library, photo paffoonies

5 responses to “An Overdose of Cheerios

  1. Apparently the mind-reading app has no spellchecker on it. The English teacher in my head is screaming SCHNOCKERED and DISTRACT at me.

  2. Cherrios? If he’s gonna mess wid dis babe he better eat his Wheaties.

  3. YOU ARE SO FUNNY! Haha, I love that you rescued naked Barbies. That’s pretty awesome. And it’s also awesome that you allow them to sunbathe near your cheerios. Yellow is such a cheerful color; it probably helps them to feel better about being hammered by Thor.

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