
Canto Thirty-Two – In the Main Flower Garden of the Bio-Dome
There were three large red-and-yellow blossoms on robust stalks in the center of the garden. Everything else was either withering and brown or completely dead. George Jetson felt slightly creeped out by the three giant, healthy plants in the center of so much death and rot. Still, he didn’t object as Brekka and Menolly danced and sang as they moved towards the bright colors of the three blossoms.
“Georgie? Why aren’t you dancing with us?” sang Brekka.
“Yeah, why not?” added Menolly.
“I don’t need to dance with goofy girls right now. I… I’m supposed to guard you and keep bad things from happening.”
The girl tadpoles scoffed and continued to dance towards the blossoms.
George watched the leaves of the flowers, easily the size of dinner plates, begin to twitch and move. It was almost as if they were trying to detect something either by feel, maybe of vibrations in the air, or possibly by smell. George knew from his educational programming that leaves had openings called “stoma” that sniffed the air as they breathed carbon dioxide in and oxygen out. It wasn’t an important fact, was it?
Suddenly there was a large, burly lizard man bursting in through the far door into the flower garden. He was completely naked, for reasons unknown. He was also obviously a scabby with the tell-tale white, filmy eyes and desiccated patches on his naked scales.
“George! Help!” cried Brekka. She had danced so far towards the three live flowers that the interrupting scabby had her cut off from Menolly and George. George leaped forward to engage the monster in hand-to-hand combat, but pulled up short when he noticed the huge teeth and long, scimitar-like claws on both hands.
“Brekka! Run away! We will catch up to you on the other side!” screamed George. “Menolly! Come here to me!”
Brekka broke toward the flowers and ran. The scabby followed her. Menolly reached George and threw both of her green arms around his neck, making him unable to either flee or fight. Both of them watched the pursuit of Brekka with absolute horror.
The largest of the three blossoms moved its huge flower-face closer to the fleeing Brekka. The four main petals of the blossom formed into two sets of opposing jaws. As Brekka moved close enough, the blossom engulfed her entire body and lifted her into the air. Her screams were muffled by the blossom that seemed much more like a gigantic mouth.
“Oh! No! Brekka is gone!” cried Menolly, sagging against George Jetson.
“It ate her!” George was too stunned to move.
The flowers were still in motion. The two remaining blossoms grabbed the scabby, one seizing its head, and the other grabbing a leg. The two blossoms pulled in opposite directions, splitting the unfortunate lizard man in two, then settling down to munch contentedly and smack their petal-lips.
Menolly was devastated and sobbing uncontrollably. George didn’t know an awful lot about the hugging and kissing stuff that Earth humans did on their television shows, but he felt the urge to try. He held Menolly tightly with both arms and pressed his mouth to hers.
“Mmmph! What are you doing?” Menolly moaned.
“I’m comforting you, dummy.”
“Well, don’t stop!”
When the blossom that had engulfed Brekka began making retching noises, George was almost too lost in the entire kissing thing to respond. He felt rather funny in his lower stomach as the two tadpoles pulled apart.
The blossom vomited Brekka onto the walkway. She was clearly still alive, but covered with sticky-looking goo.
“Ooh,” moaned Brekka, “that was not very fun.”
*****
























If you are going to entertain a completely absurd notion like, “Shakespeare wasn’t really written by Shakespeare”, then you have to have some knowledge of the times and the context within which such a profoundly counter-intuitive thing could possibly be true. And it also helps to understand more precisely what the “writing of Shakespeare” actually means. Now, I know it is not particularly fair to confuse you, dear reader, right before I try to dazzle you with my complicated and over-thunk lackwit conspiracy theory, but that is, after all, what obfuscation actually means.





Truly Terrible Trump Tricks
Yep, I have tried thinking about the many uses for barbed wire and dead cats rather than have to think about what Trump has been doing, and it just isn’t working. After looking up the tensile strength of various common barbed wires from different barbed wire companies, I could not find one appropriate for a cat-a-pult, and it turned out that the whole idea was a joke anyway. But he just keeps getting worse.
Here is John Green, an author I love and listen to, explaining the Immigration Boobilly Boo-Boo;
The Trumpinator has gotten the idea that he can hammer the world into a shape he likes using mallet-like executive orders. But no amount of hammering is going to turn the globe into a giant banana. His executive orders are not put through a review process, and so, are often nonsensical, inappropriate, and even dangerous.
The fact that you had to take a moment to decide if you needed to ask me if this photo was real or not tells you a lot about what you already know about Trump. He is petulant. He is childish. He throws tantrums at the drop of a hat, or the smirk of an underling, or the comments of a celebrity… I wonder if he throws tantrums about barbed wire and dead cats?
“Oh, no! Thinking about Trump made me accidentally strangle Mr. Tinkles.”
And even worse are some of the detestable deplorables that he has working for him. A man like Steve Bannon with his Breitbart background and his white supremacist crossword puzzles of racism, antisemitism, and nihilism would never have gotten power in the first place if it hadn’t been for Trump. And now he is at least the second most powerful man on Earth. Arguably, he’s the first, depending on how much his Wormtongue skills are affecting the baby mind of President Babyhands.
So, here is my pitiful attempt at mocking the evil Steve, Darklord Bannon;
I know, the angry eyebrows are simply not enough. Let me try again;
Okay, I know it’s not good enough. I promise you, if I can find a cartoon way to harpoon the great white whale, Moby Steve, I will, and then post it for all to see. I would like to be able to make a single cartoon so snarky that Bannon’s pet snake would drop over dead at the shockwaves from little old Republican ladies laughing at it and changing their opinion of Trump forever. Of course, I know, better cartoonists than I have tried and failed. That doesn’t mean it is not worth the effort.
You have probably discerned by now that I did not vote for Trump. And I have given him more than enough chance to prove what he will do for this country. I will never call him President using his proper name. He is not my president. And I do not want to live in Trump’s idea of America. This I will probably achieve sooner than expected because what he is doing to Obamacare will undoubtedly kill me.
5 Comments
Filed under angry rant, commentary, grumpiness, humor, Liberal ideas, memes, politics
Tagged as Donald Trump, immigration, politics, Steve Bannon, the power of cartoons.