The Dirty Old Man

You are old, Father Michael, and somehow not dead.

But you look really strange standing there on your head.

And you spend long old days drawing girls with no clothes,

When there’s nothing you could do if you had one of those.

Your life is all memories and nothing is real,

And you waste the whole day wondering, “What is the deal?”

You get nothing done but watching TeeVee,

And you cry a whole lot feeling sorry for Thee.

Your morals are cat-like for a very old cat.

And prim, proper people may hate you for that.

And if you pinch bottoms and make the girls wail…

You better look out, you are going to jail.